


Finding Freedom in Twos

by mgd



Category: Glee
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Multi, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:26:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mgd/pseuds/mgd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A.N.: I wrote this for the Kurtbastian Big Bang on livejournal, so you can either read it there (my name is raven_kerry) or here.  
> Huge thanks to my sister, who jumped in to beta-read for me, when none of the betas who signed up for the Kurtbastian Big Bang, who I wrote, answered the messages I sent to them. Also, kudos, hugs and thanks to Alexbly on tumblr for the wonderful art. ^^
> 
> I don’t own Glee. Never have, never will.

### Chapter One

Kurt lay on the air mattress, in the dark, looking up at the ceiling of Brittany’s room. They had spent all evening bedazzling it with glow-in-the-dark stars. His arms and fingers were a bit tired from all the work but, looking up at it now, he was glad he’d participated.  
  
Brittany had seen the glow-in-the-dark stars when they had been out shopping with some of the other girls earlier that day in the mall and had decided that she wanted to have some on her ceiling. It had been his idea to try and recreate the night sky and its constellations. Brittany had had some difficulties at first but, soon after he’d corrected the way she was holding the star map and done a few as examples, she’d caught on.  
  
Unfortunately, only Santana had been free to help them out. The other girls had all had plans. With only three people working on it, it had taken long into the night, causing a spontaneous sleep-over. Brittany’s dad had inflated their air mattress for him while they had been working. Brittany and Santana were more than happy to share their bed.  
  
Breaking the silence, Brittany whispered, “It’s beautiful. Thank you, both of you. I have my very own night sky now, right here in my bedroom.”  
  
Kurt smiled. “Anytime, Britt.”  
  
Brittany sighed. “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to do this. You know: sleep over and stuff.”  
  
Kurt frowned. “What do you mean? We do it all the time.”  
  
Santana cut in, “Porcelain, tell me: when’s the last time you participated in a sleepover with us? I want a date. Pronto. Because, unless I’m missing something, you’ve always been off with your gay hobbit. You’ve been ignoring us girls.”  
  
“But, just a few weeks ago, I’m sure that Rachel slept over…”  
  
“As if I’d go to a sleepover with man-hands! I get enough of her at school. I don’t need to torture myself more than that. I’m no masochist.”  
  
Brittany added, “Rachel and Blaine have been taking up all your time. I’ve missed my dolphin.”  
  
“But…” Kurt cut in.  
  
Brittany continued, “You were a unicorn again today. You lost your shiny horn and were made up out of rainbows for so long. Will you stay a unicorn or will you go back to just being a rainbow?”  
  
Kurt blinked. “Uh, Brittany, I’m not sure I follow you.”  
  
Santana retorted, “If you’d been spending any time with Britt lately, you’d understand her. You used to be able to.”  
  
Kurt closed his eyes, a stab of pain shooting through his heart at the harsh words. Santana was right. He had lost most of his grasp on Britt-speak. And the realization hurt. He cared for the girl.  
  
Brittany tried to explain herself, “You don’t shine like you used to, Kurt. Since you left McKinley, your shine has been growing dimmer. I’m worried about you. I’ve wanted to tell you that for a while now, but we were never alone. You aren’t my dolphin anymore.”  
  
Kurt replied calmly, “Britt, just because I’ve been growing up…”  
  
Santana interrupted, “Lady Lips, let me put it into words you understand. A year ago, you would have left New Directions to be with us Troubletones.”  
  
Kurt frowned, “But… isn’t the group only females? Noah said something about you only accepting female members.”  
  
“As if we’d let him in. He just wanted the eye candy. You, on the other hand, are an honorary girl. We’d let you in in a heartbeat.”  
  
“But Blaine…”  
  
“I don’t like Blaine,” Brittany commented. “He took away your shine so he could shine brighter.”  
  
Santana added, “And don’t forget how he stole your role as Tony. You needed it. He didn’t.”  
  
“He didn’t mean to,” Kurt protested.  
  
“Now, listen here, Teen Gay. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ve had enough of your rose tinted glasses. That hobbit is no good for you. Ever since he came into your life, you stopped fighting. You let him and Man-Hands walk all over you. He’s a manipulative little shit, but Auntie ‘Tana has seen through him. Didn’t you have a fight with him just before he decided that he loved you?”  
  
“Well, yeah: I was tired of him hogging the spotlight…”  
  
“Has he stopped doing that?”  
  
“He did a duet with me for Regionals…”  
  
“Oh, so he took pity on you to share a little of his spotlight with you. He decided to deign to give you a little hint of something more so you’d think that he was toning it down a little. He only had to let you accompany him in one song to make you think that he cared, to make sure that his number one fan wouldn’t leave him. He liked your attention and, the moment it wavered, he did whatever he could to make sure it stayed on him.”  
  
“Santana, you aren’t being fair to him. The counsel was the ones who handed out the solos. I mean, okay, so Blaine suggested the duet, but they had to agree to it first.”  
  
“Yeah, he had to have a few guys agree to it. From what you’ve told us, they were eating out of the palm of his hand long before you came along. Whatever Blaine wanted, he got it, except one thing: he didn’t go to Nationals, but we did. He wasn’t coming here for you, Kurt. He was coming here for better opportunities in Glee club. Why leave a place where everyone practically worships you, if not for better opportunities?”  
  
“But he told me that he wanted to face the real world. He told me that Dalton was too sheltered. And he’s been in hiding since the Sadie Hawkins dance thing.”  
  
Santana sneered, “One would think that, if something like that happened, it would have ended up in the newspaper. Newspapers love to run articles like that. It’s like their bread and butter. Westerville isn’t that far away. How is it that no one has ever heard about this event taking place before? How is it that there are no newspaper articles of it online or in the library?”  
  
“Because it was a gay bashing and it happened in Ohio?”  
  
“Still would have ended up in the newspaper or online somewhere. I even went to check in Westerville and found a big fat nothing. As a matter of fact, I made that computer geek, what’s-his-name, that we both have AP Trig with, hack into Blaine’s school records. He went from one prep school to the next. He was never in a public school before.”  
  
“But… I.. Santana! You can’t do that! Why…?”  
  
“I had to make sure that he was worthy of our Porcelain. Believe me, though: I haven’t dug up half the amount of dirt on him that Coach Sylvester has. I only barely convinced her to let me talk to you first before she got rid of him.”  
  
“She can’t…!”  
  
“You’ll have to take that up with her. If you don’t want her to, then you’d probably get ready to join the Cheerios again. It would look good on your college application, you know: National Cheerleading winner – twice over.”  
  
Kurt blinked, “I actually didn’t even think of that.”  
  
“That’s what you have Auntie Snixx for, Lady Lips.”  
  
Brittany added, “It would be wonderful to cheer with you again. Then you could be happy again.”  
  
Kurt frowned, “Boo, I am happy. I swear.”  
  
“Swearing is bad. You shouldn’t do that. And you aren’t. I’ve seen your unhappy face.”  
  
“I’m just worried about college,” Kurt sighed. “What if they don’t take me?”  
  
Santana snorted, “Not take you? Are you serious? The old Hummel wouldn’t let himself worry about that. He’d blow everyone away with a new solo. Where are you applying for other than NYADA?”  
  
Kurt blinked. “Nowhere. Rachel said…”  
  
“Are you crazy?” Santana cut in. “You’re letting Man-Hands dictate something to you? Tomorrow we’re going to look for alternative schools.”  
  
“But I want to go to New York…”  
  
“Fine, we’ll look in New York. There’s bound to be more than just NYADA for you. And what about going into fashion? Your prom outfit was fabulous.”  
  
Kurt smiled and wistfully replied, “Yeah, it was. It was so much fun putting that together.” His voice grew slightly hoarse. “Even if it made people vote for me as prom queen…” He trailed off and swallowed hard. “By the way, Britt: something I’ve been wondering; why did you decide to run against me for Senior Class President?”  
  
Brittany answered morosely, “I didn’t want to at first, but it hurt that you were ignoring me and not taking my ideas into account – and I was only trying to help you too. Then I was putting together some college applications with Santana and my grades were so bad – except in math – that I got really sad. Santana told me that, if I become class president, they might overlook the bad grades. She said that they might decide that it was because I was doing too much on the side. If you really want, I guess I could make you my vice president instead of ‘Tana. Or,” her voice grew more cheerful, “I can make both of you my vice presidents! Then I don’t have to choose!”  
  
Kurt raised an eyebrow, “Uh, Britt, I’m not sure you _can_ have more than one vice president.”  
  
“Well, why not? I’ll be president. Therefore, I get to decide. If I want you to both be my vice presidents, then you will be.”  
  
Kurt smiled. “Okay, boo, we’ll make sure to get it through somehow or at least give it our best.”  
  
“So, is my happy unicorn back again now? Will you be joining the Troubletones with us?”  
  
“I’m not sure. I mean, there’s Blaine and there’s the fact that, if I leave, they’ll be two people short of competing… and I have to live with Finn and I’d never hear the end of it and…”  
  
Santana cut in, “I’ll help you get a solo at Sectionals.”  
  
Kurt hesitated. “I’ll think about it, okay? I don’t want to make any rash decisions.”  
  
“By the way, why aren’t you hanging out with gel-helmet tonight? I thought you two were joined at the hip.”  
  
“Oh, he’s planning on heading to Dalton early tomorrow morning to invite the Warblers to the West Side Story production so he wanted to get to bed early. The Warblers have a practice session first thing this Saturday, to train in some of the newbies, and he doesn’t want to miss it. I ‘ll be meeting him at the Lima Bean afterwards.”  
  
Kurt heard one of the girls yawn and found himself yawning in response. Brittany softly said, “I’m tired and I want to sleep under my new sky.”  
  
Kurt opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. “Then we should sleep now. The stickers are already starting to dim a bit.”  
  
Brittany was startled as she sat up, “They’re dimming? Does that mean they’ll lose their light? They’re losing their shine?”  
  
Kurt huffed, a smile teasing his lips. “Don’t worry, Britt. It’s only temporary. They need to soak up the light around them in order to shine.”  
  
“Then I don’t like them. They’re just like Blaine and Rachel.”  
  
“Think about it this way, boo: they soak up the light when there’s lots of it so that they can give it back later when it’s really dark. They’re saving the light for later.”  
  
“Oh, I guess that’s okay then, if they’re giving the light back. Will you take your light back from Blaine?”  
  
Santana cut in, “What she means, Porcelain, is if you’re going to break up with him.”  
  
Kurt shook his head. “Not now. I’ll give him another chance. I…” he paused. “I love him. Even if he’s been lying to me, I really do love him and I believe that he loves me, too. I know it sounds bad, but… I can’t just break up with him. He means too much to me.”  
  
Santana’s voice lost its sarcasm and snarkiness for a moment. “Okay, Kurt, but keep your eyes open. Don’t be blind and, if anything happens, anything at all, tell me. I’ll go all Lima Heights on his ass.”  
  
Kurt smiled. “Thanks, ‘Tana. You’re not really that bad when you let people in.”  
  
Santana sniffed. “And I’ll deny it to my dying day.”  
  
Brittany gasped, “Are you dying, Santana?”  
  
“No, Britt, I’m not. Don’t worry. I’m fine. Now, let’s go to sleep. Good night.”  
  
“Night ‘Tana, night unicorn.”  
  
Kurt added, “Sleep well, guys.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

### Chapter Two

 

Kurt sat huddled next to his car in the parking lot of Scandals, where he’d slumpedafter his altercation with Blaine. He could feel the bruises forming where Blaine had grasped him too tightly. He felt numb. He didn’t want to believe what had just happened. He didn’t want to acknowledge that Blaine had almost forced him to have sex with him.

 

Kurt wondered if it was just the alcohol. Maybe it was the alcohol bringing out his true character. Maybe Santana and Brittany were right. Blaine had seemed to thrive on the attention Sebastian had showered him with. He’d enjoyed it so much that he’d practically ignored Kurt. The moment he’d paid attention to him, though, he’d deigned to return it. Kurt’s heart clenched at the thought. Were his own thoughts betraying him now? Santana had poisoned them with her words. That had to be it. And yet, could it be that his subconscious had realized that she was right?

 

Kurt clenched his legs close to himself and rocked himself slightly. Surely that couldn’t be. Blaine was a good person. He had to be. He’d always been such a dapper gentleman and he was so kind to date a prude like Kurt. Kurt knew that he wasn’t sexy. Blaine had told him so. If he threw what he had with Blaine away, then he’d be left with nothing. No one else would want him; but was having someone really worth this pain in his chest?

 

He was only slightly shocked as he felt a sting on his cheek and reached up with his fingers, only to find them wet with tears and a little blood. Where was the blood from? His brain started to feel fuzzy and he shivered.

 

It seemed to be from a great distance that he heard a familiar voice call for him. It wasn’t using his name, but somehow he knew the voice meant him.

 

Suddenly, there was a warm hand on his forehead. He heard someone say something about shock. Then he or she started singing softly and sweetly, caressing the side of his face. He felt the overwhelming numbness begin to subside. He blinked a few times as he looked up into concerned green eyes. He knew them. He’d seen them that day, but whose were they?

 

“Gay face? You hear me?”

 

Kurt slurred slightly, “Name’s Kurt. Kurt Elisabeth Hummel.”

 

That earned him a laugh. “You actually have a girl’s name for your middle name? How cliché. And here I thought you couldn’t become more of a stereotype.”

 

Kurt mumbled, “Mom’s name. Took her name after her funeral.”

 

The green eyes widened slightly. “Crap. I’m sorry. Now, Kurt, is there anyone I can call for you?”

 

“Satan.”

 

“I was being serious.”

 

“Call Satan… Santa… Santana.”

 

“Okay. I’ll have to dig your phone out of your pocket though, okay?” Kurt just blinked at him. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

 

Kurt felt a hand near his groin and he automatically jerked away, feeling a few of the rocks on the ground scrape his skin. Oh, so that’s where the cut came from. It came from the gravel Blaine had kicked up in his frustration. He felt the familiar numbness descend again.

 

The voice cooed gently to him as the hand near his groin didn’t touch it, but instead touched his pocket to pull out something that Kurt suddenly found to have been uncomfortable. He felt safe with the hand that was rubbing the palm of his hand. The person asked him several times for his password before Kurt was finally able to dredge up the energy to answer. He closed his eyes to rest them for a moment.

 

A bit later, he heard the voice talking into his IPhone. He wondered for a moment why, until he remembered that it was calling Santana. She would know what to do. She’d handle things. He could trust her. If the voice was talking with her, that meant that it was alright. After all, if it wasn’t, then Santana wouldn’t be talking to it… him. The voice was male. He knew that. Of course he did… kind of.

 

When the voice stopped talking, Kurt opened his eyes again. Things seemed clearer now as his vision was becoming less tunneled. He took note of the popped collar on the other boy’s polo shirt and inwardly winced at it before looking away, unable to look at the atrocity anymore.

 

It was about at that moment that he realized he was sitting on the ground next to his car in a parking lot in some of his favorite clothes. He felt panic building inside himself again as his mind started to bring back the reason why he was sitting there. He pushed himself back further against his Navigator – his sanctuary – and drew his legs up tighter to his chest as he shook harder. For a moment, a pair of brown eyes superimposed themselves over the green ones and he sniffled. A single word left his mouth, “Blaine.”

 

“Do you want me to call Blaine, too?” the other voice asked. The difference in tones was strong enough to bring back the green eyes.

 

Kurt shook his head. “No Blaine. Please. No Blaine…” A shiver passed though him. He didn’t want to see Blaine again. At least not if he was drunk. Kurt liked him when he was sober… most of the time. No, he liked him all of the time. He was his boyfriend. He was supposed to always like him. Blaine had always emphasized that Kurt needed to love him as he was all the time… but could he love this side of him? Kurt didn’t understand how to, even though he knew he should.

 

He flinched as a large hand came to rest on his knee. The familiar voice asked, “Kurt, did Blaine do something to you?” Kurt’s eyes widened. The voice grew in volume. “What the hell did he do?”

 

Kurt tried to flinch back, but was met with the cold metal of his car instead. He frantically tried to defend his boyfriend, as a good boyfriend should, “He didn’t mean to! He was just trying to be spontaneous. And I… I didn’t want that. I shouldn’t have said no to him. It’s my fault… really! I want things to mean something. I don’t want… but I should. I’m a teenage boy. I’m supposed to,” he rambled.

 

“What did he do?” The voice demanded.

 

“I know I’m not sexy. He’s told me that countless times before. I’m cute, adorable, but not sexy. I get why he has to be drunk to want me. But then I don’t want him. And I should. I won’t get better. But dad said it should matter. And I’m so scared. I was so scared of him.”

 

“Kurt, tell me, what did he do?” The man demanded, face stoic, one hand on Kurt’s knee and the other on his shoulder. “Tell me.”

 

“He wanted to have sex in the back seat of my car.”

 

The green eyes grew cold. “That bastard. Santana will be here soon and then I’ve got a little ex-birdie to fry.”

 

Kurt shook his head. “No, please, he didn’t mean it. He was just trying to be spontaneous and fun. In the end, he took no for an answer.”

 

“In the end?” the other guy asked incredulously. “What aren’t you telling me? Tell me, what did that bastard do?!”

 

“I told you! Please, don’t make me say it again!”

 

“You told me the vague details: you didn’t tell me anything specific. Tell me now so I can decide if I should kill him or not!”

 

Kurt heard a car pull up and two people get out. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. “I don’t want to think. I don’t want to remember! Please!”

 

“Tell me!”

 

“Dolphin!” came a familiar female voice that made all his tension disappear. He soon found himself enveloped in the soft arms of his ex-girlfriend. “Are you okay, dolphin?”

 

Kurt pressed his eyes closed. He tried to say that he was fine, that he was happy, but nothing would come out. Finally he shook his head. This time, he was aware enough to feel the tears coursing down his face.

 

He heard Santana talking with the boy in the background, “So, you’re Sebastian. Thanks for calling me.”

 

Brittany asked, “Sebastian? Aren’t you a crab? Why do you look human?”

 

Kurt could practically feel the perplexed stare Sebastian was sending their way. Sebastian. Kurt knew the name. Finally, he remembered walking in on him flirting with Blaine in the Lima Bean and watching the two of them dancing at Scandals while he talked to Dave before… No, he wouldn’t think about it. If he ignored it, then it didn’t happen. It was just the alcohol.

 

Tearing himself out of his thoughts, Kurt heard the end of Santana’s question, “…happened?”

 

“I came out here and found him sitting on the ground like this. He was in shock and wasn’t responding to anything. It took me a while to even coax him out of it enough to get the information on who to call. From what I’ve been able to tell, though, Blaine’s the guilty party.”

 

“I tried to tell that boy that the hobbit was no good. If only he’d listened to me! What did that bowtie-wearing jerk do this time?”

 

“I’m not sure. From what I’ve been able to gather, he tried to convince Kurt to have sex with him in the backseat of his car, but there has to be more to it. If it was all just a discussion, then I can’t imagine Kurt going into shock because of it, nor can I figure out where the bruises on his hands or the cut on his face came from, but he’s not talking.”

 

“Okay, Crab…”

 

Sebastian injected indignantly, “I’m not a crab!”

 

Santana ignored him. “Watch and marvel at the great Auntie Snixx.” She suddenly reached out and grabbed Kurt’s hand, pulling him up, dragging Brittany along with him. “Now listen here, Lady Hummel, you are going to tell me this moment what Gel-Helmet did to you or I am going to go all Lima Heights over him. Not only that, but I’ll tell your dad everything – including the discussion we had last night. Pappa Hummel will get really upset then, won’t he? He’ll probably take out his shotgun, won’t he?”

 

“Please, Satan, don’t make me remember it!”

 

“I can’t imagine it would be good for his heart though, wouldn’t you agree? As a matter of fact, maybe all the good work for the past year will be undone. Do you want that, Porcelain?”

 

“No…” Kurt breathed out. “Do I have to?”

 

“You know I keep my promises, Kurt.”

 

Kurt shuddered slightly, but found comfort in Brittany’s sweet embrace. Her arms gave him the strength to tell them the nightmare he’d just lived through. He started out telling them about meeting Sebastian and agreeing to go clubbing with him. He spoke about talking to Dave while watching his boyfriend dancing with another guy. All was well and good at that point, until he reached the part where they left and tears started to trickle down his cheeks. He managed to get through it, though there were a few times when his voice almost gave up on him, but Brittany’s calm presence helped him through.

 

To a certain extent, Kurt wondered if she completely understood what was going on but, deep down inside, he hoped that she didn’t: that she would never have to. He did know, however, that she understood that he was hurting. She might not have the highest IQ, but he admired her EQ sometimes. As he told the story, she got more and more clingy, cuddling into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

 

He continued his tale, “I wanted to put Blaine in the back seat, so he could lie down. I thought he would be less likely to puke then. He tried to get me to kiss him, but his breath reeked of alcohol. I didn’t want to and he kept trying to kiss me. I got him in the back and…” Kurt’s voice broke, “and he pulled me down on top of him. I tried to get up, get leverage somewhere, but he wouldn’t let me go. He told me we should just… do it: that we don’t need it to be something special, but… dad told me it should be: that you create a connection with it… and I didn’t want… I don’t want it to be meaningless. I want both of us to remember it. I want it to mean something. I know, I’m a romantic idiot, but I can’t…” Kurt sniffled. “I fought him, managed to get off him, but not before he tried to… grind into me.” He purposefully dropped his eyes to the ground. “We fought… argued. Blaine kicked at the gravel. Some of the rocks ended up in my face. He told me he was just trying to be spontaneous and fun. I know he didn’t mean anything mean by it. I’m not ready. Every time I get close to being ready, something happens and I lose trust in him again and… I just can’t. I don’t know if I can trust him not to hurt me. But I have to, if I want to save our relationship. But I’m just so scared.”

 

Santana demanded, “Where is that bastard? I swear, I’m gonna go all Lima Heights on his sorry ass!”

 

Kurt paled. “No, Santana! Don’t hurt him!”

 

Sebastian commented, “You know, I’m probably the last person you should come to for advice on this. I lost my virginity in a bathroom at a gay sports tournament. I was fourteen. Sure, it was illegal and I never saw the guy again, but damn was he good.”

 

Santana thought it over, “You know; Andrew McCarthy has a point. Puck was my first and he was a good lay, but the only one that actually means something to me is Brittany. She was my first girl. If I’d known the difference, I might have waited for her but, on the other hand, experience is a good thing. It’s even better if the person you’re sleeping with has experience. That means you can learn from him.”

 

“You want me to cheat on Blaine?” Kurt asked dismayed.

 

“No, I want you to break up with the little vertically challenged brat and find someone better.”

 

Kurt shook his head resolutely, “No. There isn’t anyone better. He loves me.”

 

“Who do you think he loves better, lady, you or himself? Besides, trust me, you can do much better.”

 

“But no one would take me other than Blaine.”

 

“Oh, believe me, Kurt Hummel: once I’m through with you, you’ll have to lock your doors to keep all the men out. Besides, it isn’t difficult to get a guy to sleep with you. You just gotta keep him coming back for more and you’ve got him.”

 

Kurt shook his head violently, dislodging Brittany. “I don’t want that! I want to at least know the guy and I want it to be special.”

 

“Okay, then we’ve got a good candidate right here.” She gestured at Sebastian, whose eyes narrowed.

 

Sebastian sneered at her and said, “As if I’d sleep with him. I don’t sleep with clingy guys. They always want more and I don’t. I tried it once and I’m never going there again. Doris Day said it best.” He sang,

 

_“You can take the moon, gather up the stars_

_And the robins that sing merrily_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_“You can take the flowers, down in lovers lane_

_And that sentimental poetry_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_“Not for me, all that stuff_

_The dreams that ruin your sleep_

_Not for me, had enough_

_Love is one thing you can keep_

_“You can take the plans and the wedding bells_

_And whoever sings, ‘Oh, promise me’_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_‘Cause love and I we don’t agree_

_The hansoms through the park, kisses in the dark_

_All the promises make faithfully_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_“And you won’t go wrong if you take a song_

_Sung by Frankie Boy or Mr. C_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_“Not for me, all that stuff_

_Not for me, had enough_

_‘Cause love is one thing you can keep_

_In the ice box_

_“You know what you can do with good old tea for two_

_And the girl for you, the boy for me_

_Put ‘em in a box, tie ‘em with a ribbon_

_Throw ‘em in the deep blue sea_

_‘Cause love and I we don’t agree_

_At all_

_‘Cause love and I we don’t agree.”_

Kurt stared at him for a moment before a peal of laughter slipped out. Soon he found himself half-sobbing and half laughing.

 

Brittany asked, “Kurtsie, does Blaine make you happy? Santana makes me very happy. I don’t feel dumb around her. She makes me feel smart, alive, beautiful and desired. Does Blaine do that for you?”

 

Kurt was set to agree, but found that he couldn’t. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he didn’t feel desired. He didn’t feel as if Blaine cherished him like that. Sometimes Blaine made everything seem so difficult, made Kurt feel undesirable. He finally understood what they’d been trying so hard to tell him. No, he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t being true to himself and, even if he couldn’t do better than Blaine, it was probably better than what had happened earlier.

 

He closed his eyes and shook his head softly. “But I love him. I know what you’re saying. I think I’m starting to understand it. But I still love him! I still love the guy who took my hand and dragged me through Dalton to sing to me. I still love the boy who told me that he’s been looking for me forever; the boy who sang me a goodbye song when I came back here; the boy who listened to me go on and on about New York, only to tell me that he loves me; the boy who changed schools just to be with me. No matter what he’s done, I still love him.”

 

He sang, _“As long as he needs me…_

_Oh yes, he does need me…_

_In spite of what you see…_

_…I’m sure that he needs me._

_“Who else would love him still_

_When they’ve been used so ill?_

_He knows I always will…_

_As long as he needs me._

_“He doesn’t say the things he should_

_He acts the way he things he should_

_But all the same,_

_I’ll play this game_

_His way_

_“As long as he needs me…_

_I know where I must be._

_I’ll cling on steadfastly…_

_As long as he needs me._

_“As long as life is long…_

_I’ll love him right or wrong,_

_And somehow I’ll be strong…_

_As long as he needs me._

_“If you are lonely_

_Then you will know…_

_When someone needs you,_

_You love them so._

_“I won’t betray his trust_

_Though people say I must_

_I’ve got to stay true, just_

_As long as he needs me.”_

Sebastian regarded Kurt for a moment. “But in the end Bill kills Nancy – despite her love for him. He doesn’t care about her. She’s just easy to control… at least until Oliver awakens her mothering instinct.”

 

Kurt blinks. “You know the musical ‘Oliver!’? I wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

 

A slight dusting of pink settled on Sebastian’s cheeks. “I love the book. And my uncle played the part of Mr. Bumble, so we all had to watch it.” He cleared his through. “But, anyways, that’s completely beside the point. Nancy’s relationship with Bill Sykes is a prime example of an unhealthy relationship and, if you’re comparing your relationship with Blaine to that, then you have to get out before it’s too late.”

 

Brittany sniffled, “I don’t want to lose my dolphin. You have the softest lips and are the best kisser of all the guys at school.”

 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, “You two have kissed?”

 

Kurt hedged, “Long story, happened ages ago.”

 

Santana budged in, “It was actually quite entertaining. It was Hummel’s butch stage. Luckily, it didn’t last very long. He was wearing flannel and singing Mellencamp and everything. It was pathetic.”

 

“I just wanted to be the son my dad always wanted.”

 

“And we all heard the blow-out on that one. When it came down to it, he chose you.”

 

“I’m his son. He felt obligated…”

 

“Obligation doesn’t cover half the things your father has done for you, Kurt. Not by a long shot. Or vice versa. You have the model father, Kurt.”

 

“Yeah, well, he had long enough to come to terms with the fact that I’d be gay. He said he knew when I was three.”

 

“And he still loved you and raised you. He never cared. Sure, it would have been easier, if you were hetero, but he’d never choose for you to change. You’ll always be his first priority.”

 

Sebastian added, slightly wistfully, “I wish my father were more like that. I’m supposed to show up at family get-togethers and various functions to show off an image of a perfect family to everyone he knows but, at home, he never acknowledges us. Since I came out, I’ve been sent from one boarding school to the next: every year a different school; every year another summer camp to send me off to.He isn’t actively against my being gay. He just isn’t for it, either.”

 

Kurt reached out to hold Sebastian’s hand. “And your mother?”

 

“She couldn’t handle him anymore – neither his attitude nor his many mistresses. She’s living with her new family and doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore. He’s married again, too. His wife is only a few years older than I am. He picked her up as a trophy wife in China.”

 

Kurt offered, “My mother died when I was eight. She had leukemia. I watched her waste away. They discovered it when she was in the hospital, shortly after she’d had a miscarriage. I was six. I remember how my dad took care of her. He loved her until the day she took her dying breath. He still loves her, even if he’s moved on. Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if I had a sibling or if my mom hadn’t died. Then I wouldn’t be the last thing remaining of her.”

 

Brittany smiled, “I’m sure he’d love you just as much. After all, you’re his little boy. My parents love me, too. Even if I’m sometimes slow and my little sister is a genius know-it-all, they love both of us. I’m better than her in math, though. I’m good at math.”

 

Santana put her foot down. “We’re getting off subject here. Kurt, you have to break up with bowties. I don’t care if you love him or not. He doesn’t treat you right.”

 

“I told you, I can’t break up with him. He’s my everything. Without him… I’m nothing… I have nothing. I’m just… Kurt.”

 

Sebastian groaned, “You’re only reminding me about why I don’t do relationships. You’re giving him the power to destroy you. You’re giving up everything for him. What the hell does he give you in return?”

 

“He loves me.”

 

“The hell he does! Now, you listen here: alcohol doesn’t do anything but lower the inhibitions of a person. The Blaine you saw here tonight? That’s the real guy: the one hidden behind his fake persona. Is that really who you want to be with?”

 

“But no one else would take me!”

 

“Where the hell did you get that idea from?”

 

“I’m not sexy. No one would want me. Even Blaine had to be drunk to want me. I know I’m not attractive. I’m practically a walking stereotype.”

 

“And you know what? Those stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. There’s guys who think that twinks are sexy as hell. If you weren’t the clingy type, I’d totally sleep with you. Who the hell told you that you aren’t sexy?”

 

“Blaine. Before we started dating.”

 

“Okay, then we’re going to prove him wrong. We’re going back into that club and we’re going to put on a show. Everyone there will be hot for us. You’ll have your pick of any guy and you can turn them all down.” Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hand and started dragging him along back to the bar.

 

Kurt argued back, “But I don’t know what to do!”

 

“Just follow my lead, honey: I’ll show you everything you need to know.”

 

“But I’m a mess! And what about Brittany and Santana?”

 

“They’re a lesbian couple. They can come in as well. It’s not as if they’ll actually check their IDs anyway.”

 

Santana shrugged, “I’ve got our fake IDs with us anyway. Let’s get rocking.”

 

“I’m still a mess!” Kurt insisted.

 

Sebastian sighed and stopped. “Okay, then, we’ll make it look intentional.” He ruffled Kurt’s hair and the remaining hairspray helped it stay in the position Sebastian put it in. Kurt glared at him, but allowed Sebastian to work on his hair.

 

Brittany looked at him critically for a moment. “Something’s missing…” She pulled some liquid black eyeliner out of her bag and applied it. She looked at him for a moment before nodding. “Yes, that’s good. Now, let’s go. I want to dance.”

 

Kurt reluctantly let himself be dragged back inside.

 


	3. Finding Freedom in Twos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out Alexbly's art for this chapter at her post: http://alexbly.tumblr.com/post/73720547282/kurtbastian-bigbang-finding-freedom-in-twos

### Chapter Three

 

Kurt looked around and was grateful to see that Dave had already gone. Then he remembered that he hadn’t seen him there anymore when he’d been leading Blaine outside. Kurt was almost certain that, if he’d passed them, Dave would have interceded on his behalf. At least, he thought he would have.

 

Sebastian dragged Kurt onto the dance floor and whispered into his ear, “Just follow my lead. You’ll see, everyone’s eyes will be on us soon.”

 

“They’ll be watching you, not me.”

 

“Okay, then I’ll get you started out and go grab a drink. You’ll see: no one will be looking away. Now, let’s start with you moving those hips of yours, okay?” He situated himself behind Kurt and placed his hands on Kurt’s hips, who blushed furiously and awkwardly tried to move his hips. “Smoother, Kurt. Ignore me, just listen to the music. Just swish them back and forth. I’m sure you can do that; or are you really that incompetent as a dancer?” he challenged.

 

“I can do this,” Kurt hissed back, as he tried to ignore the heat from Sebastian’s hands. He swished his hips, letting out a squeak of surprise when his ass met with Sebastian’s crotch. He hadn’t realized that Sebastian was standing that close.

 

Sebastian instructed him, “Don’t stop. You want to let all the men around here think about what you could do with those hips in bed. You want to keep them imagining and they’ll be so turned on just from watching you. Just think about how much power that gives you over them. They’ll want you, but you can say no. You get to choose if they get off or not.”

 

Kurt nodded and tried to sink into the music again. He was hyperaware of Sebastian this time, though. He swiveled his hips in time with the music and let his ass brush and occasionally rub against Sebastian’s groin. Just when he was really getting into the music, Kurt noticed that the room had started to grow hotter and Sebastian was firmer against him. Sebastian turned him around and showed him a new move, slowly dropping to a crouch, before rising again, rubbing against Kurt all the while and gyrating his hips.

 

Kurt’s breath caught and he felt slightly dizzy as the blood rushed southwards. He couldn’t think anymore. He was caught up in the music and Sebastian. He tried to imitate the move and found himself pausing for a second on the level of Sebastian’s crotch. He didn’t understand why, but it was as if all his senses were drawn to it. He fought back against it, though, and continued to slowly rise. His breath caught as his crotch brushed against Sebastian’s.

 

Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hand and pressed it palm-first to touch his crotch. Kurt pulled it away, as if he’d been burned, but Sebastian pressed it back again. “You feel that, Kurt? I’m hard. For you. Look around you at all the men staring at you. And it’s all your doing, because I’ve hardly been moving at all.”

 

Kurt opened the eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed and looked around. Indeed, there were a few men trying to catch his eye and others who were just watching the two of them hungrily.

 

Sebastian whispered, “Wanna give them even more of a show and let me kiss you?”

 

Kurt’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “This… I’m not… but Blaine…” he stuttered.

 

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. “You’re still worried about Blaine after what he did to you tonight?”

 

“But he’s my boyfriend… and I still love him…”

 

“Okay, Kurt. I promise to show you how much of a douche he is. I’ll help you fall out of love with him. Believe me, sooner or later he’s going to cheat on you.”

 

“No, he won’t. He loves me.”

 

“From what I’ve heard and seen of his character, he’d a narcissist. Add that to being a hot-blooded gay teenager and you have the type who literally can’t stay loyal.”

 

“I’m gay, too.”

 

“And so am I. But it’s a matter of fact that most gay relationships either end up in an open relationship or in cheating. Personally, if I were to ever be in a relationship, which I never will be, I’d prefer an open relationship.”

 

“I don’t want that, though. I get jealous. I want to be the only one.”

 

“Understandable, but unrealistic.”

 

“Rachel’s dads are still together after several decades and they are monogamous.”

 

“The exception proves the rule, honey.”

 

“Don’t call me honey.”

 

“I won’t call you honey, if you kiss me. Let me show you how a real kiss should be. Not the sweet vanilla kisses I’m sure you share with Blaine.”

 

Kurt bit his lip, looking up at Sebastian through his eyelashes.

 

Sebastian groaned, “Oh, honey, you have no idea just how sexy you are when you do that – acting all coy and innocent.”

 

At that moment something switched inside of Kurt. He was here with a teenager who found him sexy. Maybe he should see how far this went: see how much experience did make a difference. But he still wouldn’t let anything happen. The slightest hint of a smirk appeared on his lips as he continued to look through his eyelashes. “Oh, really? I’m sexy?”

 

“Hell, yeah. So, can I kiss you, Kurt?”

 

A thousand reasons ran through his head about why he should say no. He almost opened his mouth to say it, as well, but then the memory from earlier that night came to the forefront of his mind; the impulse to just give in that he’d felt just minutes earlier. Not trusting his voice, Kurt simply nodded.

 

Sebastian tilted Kurt’s head up to look at him. “This is your last chance to back out, Kurt. May I kiss you?”

 

Kurt cleared his throat and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. His voice was just barely louder than the music surrounding them. “Yes. Kiss me.”

 

Sebastian leaned in, closing the distance between them. They continued to dance until the moment their lips met. Kurt felt Sebastian’s tongue brush against his lips almost instantly and let it inside. For a moment, Kurt forgot to breathe through his nose, as Sebastian slowly mapped out his mouth. It was slick with saliva, but he knew just how much pressure to use and how slow to go. It sent Kurt’s mind reeling. He felt like he was burning up and melting at the same time. His whole body tingled. He tried to move in closer; Sebastian’s hands moved from Kurt’s hips to his butt, pulling him close, as well.

 

Kurt hadn’t known that a kiss could feel like this. The kisses he’d shared with Blaine had been so tame in comparison. Most of the blood that had been heading to the rest of his body returned to his erection. He hadn’t noticed before, but it was slightly comforting being held by someone taller than he was and this was an embrace… well, at least sort of. Sebastian started dancing, grinding against him again. Kurt saw stars and felt something growing inside.

 

[ ](http://alexbly.tumblr.com/post/73720547282/kurtbastian-bigbang-finding-freedom-in-twos)

 

“Wanky.” A voice cut in. Kurt blinked and looked over at Santana, who was watching them along with Brittany, who was fanning herself.

 

Brittany asked, “Can we go home, Tana? And take them with us? Watching them makes me wet down there.”

 

Kurt blushed and pulled away. He’d completely forgotten about Santana and Brittany.

 

Santana told Brittany, “No, Brit-Brit. We can’t. However, I did catch it on film. So now Kurt will either have to end it with the hobbit or I’ll end it for him.”

 

Kurt’s eyes grew horrified, “No, Tana, you can’t! Please!”

 

Sebastian put an arm around Kurt’s shoulder. “Let him do it on his own, girl. You can’t force him. We’ll just have to work on proving to him how big of an ass Anderson really is. Today, we just showed him that he can find someone else. Next, we have to show him that the guy he’s in love with isn’t the real person. Finally, we’ll help him fall out of love and get over him. That’s our plan of attack.”

 

Kurt commented, “You know, I’m right here. I can hear everything you’re talking about.”

 

Sebastian shrugged, “Yeah, so?”

 

“So, shouldn’t you be planning this where I can’t hear you?”

 

“Why should I? You should know why I’m going to be nasty to you in Blaine’s presence, why I’m going to be acting like I’m going after Blaine. I know that I’m not a good guy. I’m a slut, an asshole and a bastard.”

 

Kurt smiled slightly. “You forgot meerkat and criminal chipmunk.”

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Yes, those too. But I’m honest and upfront about it. If there’s one thing I absolutely despise, it is lies. Omission – no problem. But I hate lies. And forcing yourself on someone. There are more than enough people that are desperate enough or accept money. If worse comes to worst, you’ve always got your right or left hand. You don’t have to force someone in order to get off. It’s not even as if it would be Blaine’s first time, anyways.”

 

Kurt’s eyes narrowed, “What?”

 

Sebastian asked, “You didn’t know? He’s the ex of both Thad and Trent, from what I’ve heard. They still worship the ground he walks on. A few non-Warblers I’ve talked to, though, told me he was a pretty good bottom, but a lousy top. But, according to them, the guy would spread his legs for almost anyone who was interested. Not that it made him a better lay or anything. Too selfish in bed. That’s why none of them, except for the Warblers I mentioned, came back for seconds.”

 

Kurt shook his head. “That can’t be. I… he… he’d have told me. Wouldn’t he have? He knows how much my first times mean to me.” As he stared at Sebastian’s unmoving face, he shook his head in denial. “No, no, no. There has to be some mistake. You must have heard something wrong – understood something wrong. There’s no way… He wouldn’t lie to me. I’m sure he wouldn’t.”

 

“You continue not putting out and we’ll see how long it takes for him to come to me to get off, Kurt. Believe me, it won’t be long. I’ll record it and show it to you as proof.”

 

“He won’t cheat on me! He loves me! He didn’t cheat on me before when we were at different schools; he won’t now either.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“What?”

 

“How do you know that he hasn’t cheated on you? How do you know that he won’t?”

 

“Because… because…”

 

“We don’t have any proof. I didn’t hear about it directly from Thad or Trent that they had something with him. I heard that from some of my fellow Lacrosse teammates. Why do you refuse to see the truth?”

 

“Because I love him. I can’t imagine him doing something like that to me.”

 

“So you continue to give him power over you: the power to cripple you in moments; to leave you with nothing. You surrender your control to him. If he tops and is crappy at it, you’ll think that it was his first time. When he bottoms for the first time with you and he takes it like the slut he is, he’ll tell you that he likes that so much better and will convince you to always do it that way. You’ll let him control you like a weak-willed person. In the end, you’ll have no more control over yourself than a drug addict. You’ll follow him around like a little puppy, refusing to see what’s right in front of you and that you’re in an abusive relationship! You’ll…”

 

“Stop!” Kurt yelled. “Please, please stop. If you were ever in love, you’d understand. I just… I can’t do without him. He’s my world.”

 

“He’s your drug. And you have to get another fix, so you’ll be just like Thad and Trent when he finally leaves you. Anything to get some attention. Anything for some acknowledgement. What are you planning on doing with your life?”

 

“I told you. I want to study musical theater at NYADA.”

 

“And if Blaine threatens to break up with you if you do that? Will you still?”

 

“He wouldn’t!”

 

“What if he does? What would you choose? Would you choose your dream or would you follow him wherever he goes? Wherever he takes you to?”

 

“No! Of course not!”

 

“Then why are you letting him sabotage your chances of getting in?”

 

Santana chimed in, “Like stealing Tony or getting all the solos.”

 

Brittany added, “I really don’t like him anymore… I like this dolphin better.”

 

Sebastian sniffed, “I don’t do relationships. They’re just going to die sooner or later, so why bother? Humans are selfish; they can’t really handle being in a relationship. Loving unconditionally – hah! That’s what parents are supposed to do. And yet, let’s look at all the children that are victims of domestic physical and sexual abuse; the children and teenagers who are kicked out because they’re gay or pregnant. Humans only think about themselves.”

 

“That is not true!” Kurt interjected. “My father loves me and will always love me – no matter what I do. There’s good people in the world!”

 

“Yeah, and they’re one in a million. I’ve yet to meet one myself.”

 

“You have one right in front of you!”

 

Sebastian opened his mouth to retort, but then paused and thought about it for a moment. “True, you’d have to be a saint to deal with your boyfriend. It must run in the family, then. You still try to believe the best in Blaine, to spite all we’ve said about him. You, Kurt, are a much better man than he deserves and I’ll prove it to you. You’re the true victim here. I’ll take those rose glasses off of you and smash them to pieces so you can see the real world.”

 

“I just want to love someone and be loved in return. Is that too much to ask for?”

 

“No, it isn’t. And you’ll find it. Just not with Blaine. Do you trust me?”

 

Kurt hesitated before nodding his head. “I don’t have any choice, do I?”

 

“You’ll always have a choice around me, Kurt. My freedom is something I won’t sacrifice, so I won’t ask that of you either.”

 

“Thank you.” Kurt smiled and softly kissed him, chasing that feeling from earlier; the feeling that was missing when he kissed Blaine.

 

“Don’t end it with him for our sake. End it for your own sake.”

 

“I promised Santana and Brittany that I would think about it. I’m still not sure what to do. I mean, I get what you’re saying. My mind follows you, but my heart refuses to believe. I still love him more than anything other than my father.”

 

“Then think about it this way: what would your father want you to do?”

 

“He’d want me to leave Blaine. But he’d also like me to wait until I’m about thirty or so to have sex the first time. I mean, sure, I might not be in any hurry, but still.”

 

“Yeah, not quite realistic. If you wanted and promised not to be a clingy mess, I’d totally sleep with you, you know.”

 

Kurt shook his head. “No. I can’t. I love Blaine. I…”

 

“What does it feel like when you kiss him? The two of us, we have chemistry. What do you have with Blaine?”

 

“Love. Feelings.”

 

“And you’re so sure they’re reciprocated? After all we’ve told you tonight? Are you sure you want to give him your first time?”

 

“No… but…”

 

“Then give it to someone who will take care of you, make you feel like you’re the top of the world. Give it to someone who’s got a track record of being good in the sack.”

 

“So I can pick up a thousand STDs?”

 

“Hey, I’ll have you know that I always use protection – even for oral. That’s what flavored condoms are good for, after all.”

 

Kurt squeaked and hid his face in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. “TMI! TMI!”

 

“But, with you, I could go without, because you’re untouched.”

 

“But…”

 

“Just in case, I regularly have check-ups. I’m clean. And I’ve never heard anyone complain about my talents.”

 

“Maybe that’s because you never stick around long enough afterwards to find out.”

 

“Now that’s the little spitfire I was missing.”

 

“What?” Kurt queried as he cocked his head to the side.

 

“Your sharp tongue is one of the first things I noticed about you. It’s a serious turn-on for me. I like guys who are feisty and sassy.”

 

“Then why go after Blaine?”

 

“Because he’s easy and, no matter how big of a turn-on guys like you are for me, you’re so much more difficult to get in bed. Add to that that you’re a relationship-type and it’s way too much work unless you agree to it, knowing from the get-go that it’s just to get off.”

 

“I’d never.”

 

“And that’s why we’d never get anywhere. Because, I just don’t do relationships.”

 

“Aren’t you missing out on something because of that? Knowing you’re loved and that someone cares about you… that’s an amazing feeling. Maybe you should try it – just once.”

 

“What, and open myself up to being hurt? No thank you. I’d prefer to keep myself out of that mess called love.”

 

“Have you ever been in love?”

 

“I… I don’t really know.”

 

“How…?”

 

“I told you about my family. No one was really all that big on love. I’m not sure I’d know love, even if it hit me in the face.”

 

“That’s so sad. Come to my place sometime. I’ll show you what love can be like.”

 

“I think I’ll pass. I don’t need entanglements like that.”

 

Kurt swatted his head. “Not like that, silly. I want you to see my father and my step-mother interact. See how it can be like. Maybe then you’ll understand why I can’t leave Blaine.”

 

A new song started up and Sebastian listened to a moment before saying, “I want you to listen really close to the lyrics of this song. Maybe you’ll figure out where I’m coming from.”

 

“I don’t think I recognize it.”

 

“Why am I not surprised? It’s ‘We Weren’t Born To Follow’ by Bon Jovi. Too rock for you?”

 

Kurt blushed. “No! I know Bon Jovi! I just… didn’t know this song!”

 

Sebastian decided to sing along softly into Kurt’s ear as they danced,

 

_“This one goes out to the one who mines for miracles_

_This one goes out to the ones in need_

_This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical_

_This ain’t about no apology_

_This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry_

_This road was paved by the winds of change_

_Walking beside the guilty and the innocent_

_How will you raise your hand when they call your name?_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_“We weren’t born to follow_

_Come on and get up off your knees_

_When life is a bitter pill to swallow_

_You gotta hold on to what you believe_

_Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow_

_And that your saints and sinners bleed_

_We weren’t born to follow_

_You gotta stand up for what you believe_

_Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah_

_“This one’s about anyone who does it differently_

_This one’s about the one who cusses and spits_

_This ain’t about our livin’ in a fantasy_

_This ain’t about giving up or givin’ in_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah”_

As the music continued in the background Sebastian asked, “Are you really going to bow down to Blaine? Are you really going to deny yourself and just follow? Because you could be a leader. Go your own way and people will follow you. You’re feisty and sassy around me, but you’re a servant to Blaine. What do you really want to be – a servant or yourself?”

 

“I… I want… I don’t know,” came Kurt’s strangled reply. “You’ve told me so much tonight. I can’t… I have to digest it.”

 

“Do you or do you not want to be true to yourself? Do you or do you not want to be yourself?”

 

“Yes, I do, but…”

 

“Then there are no buts. You start standing up for yourself. You don’t let Blaine tell you what to do. You don’t let anyone tell you what to do. If Blaine can handle you not following his every whim, then you can go ahead and keep him, for all I care, but don’t change yourself just so that he likes you more. That’s not a relationship.”

 

Kurt snapped, “As if you know anything about relationships.”

 

“I know enough to know that there has to be a balance of giving and taking and that is obviously not the case here.”

 

“I should go.” Kurt tried to move out of their entanglement.

 

Sebastian held him closer. “Promise me you won’t be a servant to his every whim anymore, that you’ll be your own person from now on.”

 

“I… I can’t!”

 

“Promise me.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

“Do it. Don’t try.”

 

“What, are you some kind of gay yoda now?”

 

Sebastian quipped, “No, if I was, I’d have said, ‘Do or do not there is no try.’”

 

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise anything.”

 

“That’s why you have your girls there. They’ll watch out for you.”

 

“Kiss me again? I want to remember what it feels like.”

 

“Blaine not a good kisser, eh? Okay, then, one more for the road.”

 

Sebastian leaned down slightly and Kurt leaned upwards. He felt the same familiar warmth coursing through his body. He felt the familiar, dizzy feeling and how his pants grew tighter. He decided that he really liked kissing someone taller than him. He’d never had this feeling of safety, of being taken care of, with Blaine before. It scared him knowing how much he wanted it: how much he wanted to feel secure and safe; how close and yet different an embrace could be to the type his father always gave him. This was so much more intimate. His father’s embraces made him feel secure, loved and cherished. This embrace with Sebastian made him feel secure, loved and wanted.

 

His heart skipped a beat as he fully understood. Blaine didn’t really want him. He wanted someone. Anyone would do. He didn’t care if it was Kurt. And that was why things with Sebastian were so much more intense. Because, at that moment, Sebastian was devoted only to him.

 

Sure, Kurt knew that Sebastian would probably be picking up another guy the moment he left, but he felt the other teenager’s arousal against his own. He knew that he was the cause of it. He knew that Sebastian wanted only him at that moment and was focused on him.

 

He suddenly realized that the way to Sebastian’s heart was to keep him focused on you, to not let his attention wander, to tease him until he was so consumed with you that he couldn’t think of anything, or anyone, else. He had a one-track mind and that would be so easy to exploit… but Kurt didn’t want to.

 

A year ago, Kurt wouldn’t have had any compunctions in using this realization to get a hot boyfriend. After all, hadn’t he tried to do the same to Finn? But he couldn’t do that to Sebastian: not after he’d taken care of him like this, shown him that he could be wanted; not knowing how scared Sebastian was of being hurt. He wouldn’t go after Sebastian, no matter how good he made him feel. He cared about the other boy too much for that.

 

As they pulled out of the kiss, their eyes met. Sebastian’s pupils blown, out of focus. Kurt imagined he must look similar. Kurt whispered into Sebastian’s ear, “I know how to make the wild wolf tame, but I won’t, because he deserves to be free. Goodnight.” Kurt kissed Sebastian once more, chastely, before peeling the other teenager’s hands off his ass. He found himself missing the feeling almost immediately, but quickly shut down that thought. That wouldn’t do. He had to let go. This was only for one night. He couldn’t tie Sebastian’s spirit down like that. He waved at Santana and Brittany as he passed them by. They were making out while dancing quite suggestively. Neither of them took note of him.

 

When he’d just about reached his car, he heard Sebastian call his name and he stopped turning around to look at him. “What is it?”

 

“What did you mean with what you said?”

 

“Exactly what I said.”

 

“Don’t talk in riddles. I hate riddles. Give it to me plain and straight.”

 

“I know how to take you. I know how to get you to be mine and only mine. But I refuse to do that, because you deserve to be wild and free. You shouldn’t be tied down. Not by someone like me. I’m not going to manipulate you like that.”

 

At first Sebastian seemed afraid but, the more Kurt spoke, the softer the lines on his face became and a real smile blossomed. He reached out and stroked Kurt’s cheek. “Thank you. You know, given time, I think I might actually be able to fall in love with someone like you. Don’t bet on it, though.”

 

“Given time I might follow you on that but, before I fall for anyone else, I have to fall out of love with Blaine.”

 

“I’ll help you. Like I said earlier, I’ll help reveal his true character. Then you won’t be able to love him anymore.”

 

“And what will I do then?”

 

“Whatever you want.”

 

“I like that choice.”

 

“I like kissing you.”

 

“I don’t really mind it that much either, but we can’t. If we keep on kissing, I’ll tie you to me. I won’t let you go and… right now, I’m not in a good place.”

 

“You won’t tie me to you with a few kisses. Don’t worry. It’s still my decision. I’m still making my own choices. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t. You still have the choice to say no. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just physical.”

 

“Then you could share it with any of the guys inside there just as well as with me.”

 

“Well, yeah, but none of them are my type.”

 

“It’s just physical?”

 

“Yes. I think you’re a good person. I don’t mind you as much as I mind most people, but I’m not about to fall head over heels in love you.”

 

“But you said you could.”

 

“Not that I would. And I don’t plan to, anyways.”

 

“You can’t choose who you fall in love with.”

 

“Oh, really? Just watch me. I’m never going to fall in love with anyone.”

 

“Never say never,” Kurt singsonged. He turned to walk towards his car.

 

A moment later, Kurt found himself being turned and pressed up against his Navigator. Familiar lips were pressed against his own. Kurt looked to see Sebastian’s green eyes staring at him. Between kisses he told him, “Don’t you dare walk away from me. Not like that. I’m so turned on I can barely hold back, as is.” Sebastian ground his groin against Kurt’s. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, you little tease. You’d like me to take control of you, force you to feel more pleasure than you’ve ever felt before.” Kurt failed to hold back a moan. “Look at you, all innocent and wrecked, just begging for it. And I…” Sebastian closed his eyes and pulled back. “And I have to stop. Before I go too far. Go. Get away from me. I’ll go back inside and find some easy, mediocre closet-case to get off with.”

 

“Sebastian…” Kurt panted. “Don’t settle.”

 

“You don’t want that. It’s just your hormones talking. Let’s let it go. Go home. If you still want something in the morning, then give me a call.”

 

“I don’t have your number.”

 

“Then give me your phone.”

 

Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Sebastian. “Here. And don’t put your name in as something suggestive or recognizable. My friends occasionally check my phone.”

 

“What kind of friends do you have?”

 

“The nosy kind.”

 

Sebastian fiddled with the phone for a moment before handing it back. “Hope that follows your prerequisites, princess. Also, I took the liberty of calling my phone, so you don’t have to worry about giving me your number.”

 

Kurt looked at it and giggled. “The crab? From ‘The Little Mermaid?’”

 

Sebastian blushed slightly, “Yeah, so? I’ve got a sense of humor.”

 

Kurt grinned. “I like it. Can I call you crab then, when you call me princess?”

 

“If you do that, I’ll call you Snow White.”

 

“Why Snow White?”

 

“She keeps letting her step-mother in to try and kill her. She keeps letting people hurt her because she loves too much. You have to earn a better name, Princess.”

 

“Who are you then?”

 

“Me? I’m Flynn Rider from Tangled.”

 

Kurt flirted. “What would I have to do to become Rapunzel, then?”

 

Sebastian quipped, “Let your hair grow out and dye it. Eat a magic flower that gives eternal youth, if you sing. Then you’d make a swell Rapunzel.”

 

“How do you know I don’t already have that?”

 

“Other than the hair?”

 

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Yes, other than the hair. Because I’m not doing that to my hair.”

 

“Because magic doesn’t exist.”

 

“What’s your favorite princess?”

 

“Jasmine. She goes her own way and doesn’t let herself be locked into her role. She’d prefer to be free and poor rather than to live in a cage of gold.”

 

“Then what do I have to do to become Jasmine?”

 

“Become your own person. Don’t let anyone or anything tie you down. Then, when you’re free, you’ll be like Jasmine.”

 

“In the end, she lets herself be tied down to Aladdin, though.”

 

“By her own choice. She said no to all the suitors until she found one she liked – and he wasn’t a stuck-up prince.”

 

“So I have to be free as a bird? But my canary died while I was in the Warblers. It was only after that when Blaine figured out that he loved me back. After I sang Blackbird.”

 

“So the moment your bird died, you took its place in a different cage. Wouldn’t you say that’s some symbolism? As long as your bird lived, you were free.”

 

“I thought it romantic that he fell in love with me after hearing me sing my heart out, just like how the Phantom fell in love with Christine.”

 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “You know, you have a really screwed up idea of romance, then. You keep comparing your relationship with Blaine to some of the worst relationships in musical history. But, then again, it’s fitting. Did you know that, in the book, the Phantom rapes Christine?”

 

Kurt shook his head. “No.”

 

“There’s a good reason why she didn’t choose him. He’s a murderer and psychopath. It had nothing to do with his face deformity.”

 

“I guess I can see that. But it’s still romantic…”

 

“It’s not romantic. There’s absolutely nothing romantic about a psychopathic stalker and that’s what he was.”

 

“How do you know so much about musicals?”

 

“Not about musicals per se… just a few individual ones. Okay, and maybe I enjoy watching some of the less cliché ones from time to time. But that’s it.”

 

Kurt grinned. “Admit it, you like musicals. You like to sing along to them as much as I do. Tell me, what musical is my first name from?”

 

Sebastian crossed his arms and looked away. “How should I know?”

 

“Admit it, you know it. Now come on, tell me.”

 

“I can’t imagine you running around in old curtains though.”

 

“I knew you’d know it. It was my mother’s favorite musical. And it’s less cliché, since it’s based on a true story. The Phantom of the Opera is kinda cliché though. So what’s the story there?”

 

“It’s only become cliché because of all the imitations of it. It, in of itself, is not cliché and, I kinda feel for the Phantom. He doesn’t have anyone. He’s so lonely.”

 

Kurt added, “And he doesn’t even get the girl. He’s just alone for all eternity.”

 

“In the book, he dies at the end, after sending her off to marry Raoul. I can’t stand Christine, though. She’s too malleable. She lets everyone do everything to her and doesn’t really fight back. The musical has some beautiful music, though.”

 

“‘All I Ask Of You’ is such a romantic song. And Raoul is Christine’s childhood sweetheart, so I guess I can understand her going for him.”

 

“Actually, even if she didn’t love him, in that day and age, she would have been stupid to say no to a match like that. He could take care of her. He was a nobleman. He could guarantee her a comfortable life.”

 

Kurt asked, “So, what’s your favorite musical?”

 

“Whistle Down the Wind.”

 

“I haven’t heard about that one.”

 

“It’s based off of a book. Basically, some kids think that a man who broke out of jail is Jesus. They try to protect him and offer him their most prized possessions. One of the eldest girls falls in love with him and vice versa. When the grown-ups find out where he is, they have to get past the children that are blocking the way. In the book, he surrenders; in the musical, he sets fire to the barn he’s staying in rather than go back to prison.”

 

“Why do you like it so much?”

 

“Because he’s a murderer. He’s done awful things and yet he still finds love. I love the children’s innocent belief in him. He hates himself for what he’s done and doesn’t think he’s worthy of the girl’s love and yet, to spite that, she doesn’t listen to him and chooses to love him, regardless.”

 

“It reminds you that everyone can find love – even the murderers. It lets you believe that, one day, you might find someone to love you like that – to spite all your flaws. Even if I could care less for the whole Christian part of it, it’s a beautiful story. I wish I could see it.”

 

“Well, you’re out of luck there. Its American tour is long since finished. I’m sure you know some of the songs though, at least. Boyzone did a cover of the song ‘No Matter What’ from it.”

 

Kurt’s eyes grew wider. “I know that song! My mom always sang it to me when I was little, before she died. Thinking back, I think it was her trying to tell me that it’s okay for me to be different, to be gay. No matter what people call us or do to us, it isn’t wrong.”

 

Sebastian sang,

_“No matter what they call us_

_However they attack_

_No matter where they take us_

_We’ll find our own way back.”_

 

Kurt joined in,

_“I can’t deny what I believe_

_I can’t be what I’m not_

_I know our love’s forever_

_I know no matter what”_

Sebastian skipped a bit,

_“No matter who they follow_

_No matter where they lead_

_No matter how they judge us_

_I’ll be everyone you need”_

They stood there staring into each other’s eyes before Sebastian added on, “In a completely platonic way of course.”

 

Kurt quickly added, “Yeah, same here.”

 

“There’s nothing else between us.”

 

“Nothing at all.”

 

Sebastian leaned in for another kiss. “Goodnight, Kurt.”

 

“Goodnight Sebastian.” Kurt tried to unlock his Navigator, only to wince when he realized that he’d left it unlocked all this time. He was lucky that no one had gotten into it.

 

He got inside and watched as Sebastian headed back into the bar. He didn’t understand himself. Why was it that, when Blaine had been all over him, he’d been scared? Just now, he’d been held in an even more compromising position by Sebastian and all he’d felt was turned on. Blaine was his boyfriend. Shouldn’t it have been the opposite? Then again, he could trust Sebastian. He’d shown that over and over again that night. Blaine, on the other hand, he couldn’t trust, no matter how much he wanted to. That night had proven that to him. Sebastian pulled back on his own accord. Blaine didn’t and that was the difference.

 

Kurt realized that Brittany, Santana and Sebastian were right. He had to break up with Blaine. Then again, maybe the two of them could save their relationship in time. Maybe he just had to give him another chance. After all, Blaine had been drunk and, when he was drunk, he did stupid things – like make out with girls and get confused about his sexuality. One thing was for certain though – he was not going to sleep with Blaine until he knew for certain if he was going to stay with him or not. Kurt was going to stop walking on eggshells around Blaine. He was going to be himself again – sass and all. If the guy couldn’t deal with that, then the relationship didn’t have any future, anyways.

 

His resolution made, Kurt got into his car and drove home.


	4. Finding Freedom in Twos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out Alexbly's post for her wonderful art: http://alexbly.tumblr.com/post/73720547282/kurtbastian-bigbang-finding-freedom-in-twos

 

  
It was several days later when Kurt received a text message from Sebastian. “Come to the Lima Bean at four thirty pm. Blaine and I are meeting there at five. Don’t wear anything flashy. Dress like a guy. Don’t be easily recognizable.”

Kurt pondered over the message for a while before digging out the clothes from the back of his closet, which he’d used the previous year while trying to play being straight. He knew Blaine hadn’t seen photos of him in that getup, seeing as he’d made sure to destroy all the evidence of that unfortunate period of his life. The only thing he’d kept were the clothes – just in case he might need them for an audition or something. It wasn’t like he had anything else similar enough to them to serve in their stead. He packed it all into a bag, making sure to stuff it in, so it would be seem poorly kept, in order to change clothes after school.

He was just about to head out the door when he stopped and turned around. He dashed up to his room to pull out his stash of lesser-used accessories. In there he grabbed a glasses case, which he opened to make sure the glasses were still in there. They didn’t actually have any real lenses – just glass. But they looked realistic. They were black and rectangular shaped. They were large enough to easily see through, but small enough not to cover up too much of his face.

He’d bought them originally for the costume for one of their weekly projects in Glee. In the end, he’d decided to switch to a different song last-minute, though, and had just stashed them away, in case he ever needed them. He figured that they’d be the last necessary thing to make him incognito, though, since Blaine knew he didn’t wear glasses or contacts. He also grabbed one of the books on car mechanics that belonged to his dad. With a little more advance warning, he would have been able to throw a better disguise together, but it was still fairly decent, all things considered. He was fairly sure that Blaine wouldn’t see through it: especially, if Kurt avoided eye contact with him.

At school, Kurt found himself spending more and more time with The Troubletones, specifically Brittany and Santana. Sure, Mercedes kept on accusing him of spying on them, but that was a small price to pay in order to avoid Rachel. He still hadn’t forgiven her for running for Senior Class President. They’d been helping him in researching and applying for various other universities in New York. It had surprised him when he realized how much he had to fill a portfolio for Parsons with a major in Fashion Design (BFA). Between the costumes he’d helped design for New Directions, to fit all the vastly different shapes and figures well, and his own for private usage, including his prom outfit earlier that year and all his various sketches, he thought he actually had a good chance of getting in.

***

He kept himself busy at school that day, putting aside the required time with Blaine to pretend to be the rainbow-spewing happy couple others expected. He was far removed from that, though.

Blaine hadn’t had the decency to apologize to Kurt for his drunken actions. Kurt had had to confront him about it. He’d tried to pass it all off as being drunk and being overcome by his desire for Kurt, but Kurt hadn’t bought it and had bitched at him until he’d finally given an insincere apology. Kurt had accepted it, knowing that he wouldn’t be getting anything better than that. However, he stored it in his mind as another negative point for Blaine, who already had more than enough of those, as was.

***

After school, Kurt waited for the majority of the other student to leave or go to their clubs, then changed clothes in one of the girl’s bathroom’s stalls. On his way out, he saw Rachel and Blaine in deep conversation. He wondered what they were talking about and snuck closer. The door that lead to Schuester’s Spanish class was in hearing distance from where they were talking. He could hide in the niche created by the lack of lockers there.

Kurt crept quietly. Hopefully they’d be so involved in their conversation that neither of them would look up.

Luck was on his side as he slipped into the niche. Safe from their gaze, Kurt was able to concentrate on what they were saying. Rachel was in the middle of speaking, “… was a great success. No wonder really, since I had the lead.”

Blaine answered, “It wouldn’t have been half as good, if I hadn’t been your Tony.”

“Yeah, I can’t really imagine Kurt as my potential love interest. I mean, seriously, Tony’s a man. You can’t play a man with a voice like Kurt’s. He should concentrate more on androgynous parts like Angel from Rent or Puck from Midsummer Night’s Dream. How he ever thought that he’d get Tony is beyond me.”

“To be fair, he wanted it to add to his resume. He probably won’t get in now.”

“I know that. I would have given him that role – even though I wouldn’t have played as well. I want him to get in. I really do. I don’t want to be alone in New York without anyone else I know, but I really don’t think he has the talent for it and that’s really discouraging for me. You’re the only other person in this school who might be able to reach up to my standards – and NYADAs are probably even higher than my own. How can he get in?”

“Well, I’ll be there next year, anyway. So, you’ll only have to be alone for a year. Meanwhile, Kurt will be here with me – where he belongs.”

“Blaine, I’m really not sure it was a good idea to encourage him to put all his eggs into one basket. He probably won’t make it and what will become of him then?”

“He’ll stay here with me and, when I get into NYADA, he’ll come with me to New York and do something there. Maybe he’ll get a job to help support us through college.”

Rachel sighed, “I really don’t know, Blaine. I’d kinda like him to come with me. It isn’t too late yet. He could still…”

“No, Rachel. We’ve talked about this before.”

“I guess. Maybe he’ll have more luck next year when he doesn’t have me to compete against.”

“He’ll be competing against me instead – and we all know that there’s no chance in hell he’ll win that one.”

“True. But it isn’t fair encouraging him to throw his life away like this.”

“He won’t be throwing his life away. Once we’re famous, we’ll be supporting him – or rather I will – and he won’t have to work at all anymore. He’ll just be carrying the weight for us in in the meantime. By the way, have you followed through on Artie’s advice yet?”

“Yeah. I messed up in the beginning and told Finn that I wanted to have sex with him in order to improve my performance. He didn’t take very well to it. However, in the end, after the premiere, I was able to convince him that I did actually want it for other reasons, as well. I’m not really sure how I was able to live so long without it, to tell the truth. What about you? Any luck with Kurt?”

“No, he’s still isn’t putting out. He’s being unreasonable and wants his first time to be in a field of lavender. As if that will ever happen. At the rate he’s going, he’ll still be a virgin at the age of thirty and I’ll have died from sexual frustration.”

“I still find it surprising that you haven’t had sex before.”

“I never said anything about sex. There’s a difference between having sex and making love. The musical requires the knowledge of making love and that intense connection between two people. That is not there when you’re just having sex. In that way I’m still a virgin, just like I told you. I just define the word slightly differently than most people.”

Rachel’s eyes widen. “Blaine! You haven’t cheated on Kurt, have you?”

Blaine’s answer was a tad bit slow in Kurt’s mind. “No, of course not. I had some relations before I met him, when I was figuring out my body and whatnot.”

“You have to tell him, Blaine. Kurt wouldn’t want to be left in the dark. The same sort of lack of communication almost killed my relationship with Finn last year.”

“I’ll tell him. Don’t worry about it. But let me do it in my own time.”

“How have you managed to not cheat, though? I mean, I’ve just discovered the pleasure of having sex and I don’t think I could do without it for so long.”

“I have my right hand and a few toys. It isn’t as good as the real thing, but it tides you over, at least for a while. Now, listen, I have to go meet up with a friend and I want to drop my stuff off at home first. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure. But please, talk to Kurt. You have to tell him.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Kurt watched as Blaine walked by his hiding place not even looking sideways to notice him. He came out and Rachel saw him.

She squeaked, “Kurt? Why are you wearing that…? What are you…?” She paused, a serious look crossing her face. “How much did you hear?”

Kurt pursed his lips. “Enough. Thanks for sticking up for me, though, even after you put me down. To allay your worries, I’ve put together a few submissions and portfolios for some other schools in New York. I am not staying here any longer than I have to. You are not going to New York on your own.”

Rachel smiled. “That’s good. I really don’t want to.”

“As to Blaine and his various other relations, I’ve heard about them before. He doesn’t know that I know, though. Apparently, he likes bottoming, is terrible at topping and at least used to be a bit of a slut. I’m not sure if he’s cheating or not.”

“He said he wasn’t.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. He knows that you’d tell me, if he was.”

Rachel nodded. “I would. Even if I got Finn to cheat on Quinn, I wouldn’t keep that a secret for him from you. You’re my best gay – not him.” She hesitated a moment. “What’s with the outfit? I thought you’d already passed your butch stage. The glasses are cute on you, though. Are they real?”

Kurt smiled slightly, “No, they don’t have any correction. It’s just an accessory to further my disguise. The friend he’s meeting – he’s a Warbler. And he told me to be there to listen in to their conversation. He’s trying to help me find out if Blaine is cheating on me or not.”

“So the reason you won’t have sex with him is…”

“…because he tried to force me to have sex with him in the back of my car on Saturday and afterwards I found out about his sexcapades. I’m not sure if I can trust him anymore and I won’t sleep with him, if I can’t trust him. And now that I know that he was just trying to get into my pants because of West Side Story… well, that doesn’t really make it all that much better.”

Rachel looked somewhat mournful. “I’m sorry.” Her face brightened up a bit. “I know. I’ll accompany you. We’ll play girlfriend and boyfriend. Let me grab a costume from Glee. I’m sure we still have some of those wigs that we got for Sectionals. I can put on a Blonde one, some makeup and one of my old outfits. No one will suspect that it’s me. It’ll be good practice for going incognito later on when I’m famous.”

“Unless you open your mouth and start singing.”

“Naturally. After all, no one could mistake my voice, since no one else could match up to its quality and perfect pitch.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You better get changed now or we’ll be late. We have to be there before Blaine is. I’m actually due there in,” he looked at his watch, “fifteen minutes.”

“Ten minutes to get there – that leaves five for me to get changed. It’ll be good practice for changing my outfit between scenes on Broadway.”

She dashed off and Kurt yelled after her, “I’ll wait for you in my car!”

She turned around, while walking backwards, “Sure thing. See you in a bit!”

Kurt shook his head as she disappeared, then headed off to his car. Rachel truly was one heck of a strange character.

***

They arrived five minutes late to the Lima bean, to find that Sebastian had saved two tables – one on each side of a separation wall. They wouldn’t be able to see Blaine, but he wouldn’t be able to see them, either.

Sebastian stood by the wall, looking over it at them. “You know, gay face, you don’t look half-way bad when you’re dressed like a guy. As a matter of fact, you look kinda hot in that get-up.”

“You thought I was good-looking before, too.”

“Yeah, but like this you’re smoking. I especially like the glasses.”

“A kink of yours?”

“I’ve got glasses, too. Do you want to see them on me?”

“Not unless you forget to put on your contact lenses.”

“I’ll gladly forget them for you, babe.”

Kurt responded primly, “If you don’t mind, Rachel and I are going to be pretending to be a couple. So you go and play your role.”

“Oh, but I’m already playing it, babe.”

“Right. Your role is a douche who sleeps with other people’s boyfriends. How could I forget – or is that really a role you’re just _playing_?”

“The insinuation! I’m deeply wounded. Do you really think that poorly of me?”

“Yes.”

Sebastian put the back of his wrist to his forehead and playfully bemoaned, “I’ll never be the same again, not even for a day!”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “And you call me a stereotype.”

“Not right now, you aren’t. Right now, you’re just my type.”

“Your type is any male that is willing.”

“Not quite. They also have to be good-looking. Even when I’m shit-ass drunk, I only hook up with attractive guys. I have standards.”

“And those standards are lowered every few minutes your libido is ignored.”

“A guy has needs.”

“A guy has requirements – and you don’t meet mine.”

“I have a dick, an asshole and a prostate – what else do you need?”

“You are a dick and an asshole. And I need someone to fulfill my emotional needs – not just my physical ones.”

“I can give you anything you want, babe.”

“Except commitment.”

“Commitment is overrated.”

“Until your partner brings some kind of STD home to you.”

“Any partner like that is an idiot for not using protection. As I told you the other night, that’s why flavored and various types of non-flavored condoms exist.”

“So, that means you never want to experience what it’s like with a partner you can trust, someone you know is clean? So you could leave all of that out?”

“Sure I would, but it’s not worth the effort.”

“The effort of knowing you have someone who cares about you – who loves you?”

“Love is overrated. Is dissipates in time, anyways.”

“And all those people who have claimed that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?”

“Are crazy and just spewing that nonsense to make themselves feel better.”

Rachel cut in, “Why aren’t you two dating? You go at it like my dads do and, seeing as they’ve been together for several decades now, I should know what I’m talking about when I say that you’d make a great couple. You remind me of the way you used to be now, Kurt. If you can summon more of that spirit, then I’m sure you’ll get into NYADA – just don’t ever take no for an answer.”

Kurt commented, “Yeah and, if you ever told that to Blaine, I’m pretty sure he’d apply that to personal relationships, as well and it really doesn’t work there.”

Rachel retorted, “Well, stop flirting now and get me my coffee. I’m doing you a favor and you’re playing my boyfriend, after all. You know what I like.”

“Yeah, yeah, one tall Caramel Latte Macchiato with soy milk.”

“Exactly. Now shoo.”

Kurt walked over to the counter. From his place in line, he could see Rachel and Sebastian talking, but couldn’t hear them over the din of the café. When he finally got back with the drinks, Kurt heard Rachel warning Sebastian to back off.

At that moment Kurt saw Blaine’s car pull up through the window. He hurried back to his place with the drinks and subtly motioned towards the sliding doors that were opening to let Blaine in. Rachel sat down and started playing with the hair of her blond wig, as he set her drink in front of her.

They both heard Blaine pull out his chair and say, “Hi Sebastian. How are you doing?”

Sebastian answered, “I’m doing well. Have you reconsidered my offer yet?”

“Which one?”

“The one your boyfriend doesn’t need to know about. I heard he’s not putting out for you. Don’t you miss it? I heard how much action you used to get. Must be pretty hard going from getting lots to nothing.”

Blaine sounded slightly affronted. “You don’t have a clue. I’m in a relationship.”

“And are you really that loyal? Don’t you miss the stretch, the pounding of your prostate? Can you really say you never think about it? Have you really never cheated on him?”

“I have toys…”

Sebastian smoothly replied, “But they’re not the same, are they?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“They’re cold, not warm. I’ve got more experience than any of your other lays, Blaine. I can make it so good for you. But I won’t do anything without your permission. I’m not that type of guy.”

“But Kurt…”

“Fuck Kurt. Or, should I rather say, don’t fuck him? Looking at him, he doesn’t seem like he’d be very good on top. He looks like a bottom, like he’d be needy and fall apart in bed – but I wouldn’t rely on him being able to dish out. He’s just a twink. You need a man.”

“Just because Kurt is effeminate doesn’t mean he can’t dish out.”

“He just dishes out in words. I’m sure it would be sickeningly sweet between the two of you. His flamboyantly gay face and his high voice – you might as well be having sex with a girl. Are you even sure that he has a dick? Has he ever even let you touch it?”

“Well, no, but…”

“Mine has pleased many men before. I’ll give you a ride you won’t forget. All you have to do is give in.”

“I know that Kurt isn’t very male, but he loves me.”

“Do you love him?”

Blaine hedged, “I told him I do.”

[ ](http://alexbly.tumblr.com/post/73720547282/kurtbastian-bigbang-finding-freedom-in-twos)

Sebastian insisted, “But do you really love him? Or do you just have a thing for virgins?”

“Kurt is still a bit of a baby penguin. He isn’t the most attractive guy in the world, but he’s very attentive. Once we get that far, I’m sure he’ll be an excellent lover. He’ll take care of all of my needs.”

“He isn’t taking care of them right now. Tell me, how many men have you been fucking behind his back?”

“None!” Blaine insisted.

Sebastian repeated, “How many? I want an honest answer from you. If you don’t tell me, I have my ways to figuring it out.”

Blaine sighed, “Okay, okay. I’ve met up with a few guys I met via Facebook for a blowjob or occasional handjob. I refuse to have penetrative sex though. I won’t do that to Kurt.”

“So, would you be game for that?”

Blaine hesitated again. Finally he replied in strangled voice, “Okay, fine. Just… don’t tell Kurt, okay?”

“Will do. Your place or mine?”

“My parents are gone on another business trip, so the place is empty and fairly close.”

“Your place it is.”

***

Kurt and Rachel heard the scraping of the chairs on the floor and the footsteps receding. She huffed indignantly and glared in the direction of the door. “He didn’t have to actually drag him off to have sex with him! Especially not right in front of you!”

Kurt sighed. “If he hadn’t, it would have been strange. Blaine would have suspected something, I’m sure. After all, you don’t go from propositioning sex to taking it back. Besides, this way Sebastian got something out of it as well. That means I’m not in his debt for… this. All he did was get Blaine to show his true colors.”

Rachel turned her focus to him with a sympathetic look and grasped his hand. “Are you okay, Kurt?”

Kurt forced a smile. “I’ll be fine. I have to be.”

“Are you going to break up with him now?”

Kurt sighed, his smile becoming even more strained. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“You always have a choice.”

“If I let this go, it’ll always be pulling me down – he’ll always be pulling me down.” Kurt’s eyes grew moist. “I’ll have to break up with him. But… but I still love him.” Kurt’s façade broke as he dissolved into tears. “How can I still love him after all he’s done to me, Rachel? What sort of masochist am I? Since I joined Dalton, he’s hurt me over and over again. But he still means the world to me. I know I have to let him go, but why does it have to hurt so much? Why couldn’t I be enough for him?”

“Oh, Kurt…” Rachel took off her wig off, stood up and hugged him. “Oh, honey, it’s okay. There’ll be others. Better guys.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re a catch, Kurt. There’s only one Kurt and lots of fish in the sea.”

“But not gay fish!”

“One fish, two fish, gay fish, new fish?”

Kurt snorted through his tears. “That isn’t funny, Rachel!”

“I’m sorry, Kurt, but believe me: you’ll find someone better. Not all relationships are bound to last forever like the one between Finn and me. Now, let’s go to my place and get you over this the traditional way.”

“Ice cream? Non-vegan chocolate-chip cookie dough?”

Rachel nodded, “I’ll make an exception for the occasion. And we’ll watch ‘Funny Girl,’ ‘Cabaret’ and ‘Chicago.’”

Kurt pulled out a handkerchief, dabbed his eyes and blew his nose. “Replace Cabaret with ‘Oh! Brother Where Art Thou’ and you have a deal.”

“Deal. We’ll pick up the ice-cream on the way to my place.”

“Do you want to stop by the school real quick to put your outfit back?”

Rachel paused before nodding. “Yeah. Good idea. Could have been mine.”

Kurt rolled his reddish eyes, “Yes Rachel.”

 


	5. Finding Freedom in Twos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

### Chapter Five

The next day, after Glee, Kurt asked Blaine to stay a bit longer, so he could broach the subject of breaking up to him.

“You’re what?” Blaine demanded.

Kurt tried to swallow the lump in his throat, keeping his mask of resoluteness in place. “You heard me. I’m breaking up with you.”

Blaine shouted, “You can’t do that! Not after I changed schools for you!”

“I told you not to just do it for me.”

“After you asked me to transfer to be closer together!”

Kurt yelled back, “It was your choice! You could still go back if you wanted! I won’t stop you. Go back and be with Sebastian, for all I care!”

“You’re breaking up with me because you’re jealous?”

“No, you idiot! I’m breaking up with you because you treat me like crap and I can’t trust you anymore – not after what happened on Saturday night!”

“I apologized for it.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Blaine. Don’t you get it? I was scared of you! Scared of what you could do to me; of what you could force me to do! Fear like that has no place in a relationship! Don’t you understand?”

“All I hear is that you’re breaking up with me because of one small mistake I made. Nothing even happened.”

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I still love you, but I don’t trust you and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be intimate with you now – not after that. Go find someone else to fill your needs, because I’m not going to.”

“Don’t be stupid, Kurt: you won’t find anyone like me again. You can’t do better. You said it yourself. You love me. I love you.”

“Sometimes love isn’t enough. I tried. God, I tried. I gave you so many chances, Blaine. But you’re killing me. I just can’t do it anymore. It’s over. And maybe I won’t find anyone better than you, but I will find someone who’s better for me than you are.”

“I’ll show you that you’re wrong. I won’t leave. I’ll win you back.”

A sob and a few tears escaped Kurt against his will. “Please, don’t make this harder than it already is. Just let me go. Set me free.”

“I can’t do that, because you belong to me!” Blaine pinned Kurt violently against the wall and held his hands above his head. “I’ll show you how wrong you are!”

Kurt struggled. “Blaine, please, stop! You’re hurting me!”

“Fair’s fair. You hurt me, I hurt you.” Blaine leaned in to kiss Kurt, but Kurt turned his head away, so he didn’t see Blaine’s hand reaching up to grab his throat in a chokehold. Kurt began to panic as the air passage was partially blocked and the world swam. Kurt saw several black spots appear in his vision, as he thrashed, trying to free his hands. He felt light-headed as he exerted himself, losing more and more of his strength to fight until the black spots had almost taken over his vision and he opened his mouth to try and get more oxygen. At that moment, Blaine stood on his tip-toes as he leaned in to force his lips onto Kurt’s.

Tears were streaming down Kurt’s face as Blaine released the chokehold slightly and Kurt started to fight again to get free. When he felt Blaine’s erection pressed against his leg, his panic grew to new heights and the chokehold was released even further. He started struggling even harder, but it seemed to only turn Blaine on more. He got a leg free, stuck it between Blaine’s legs and pulled it up with all his might, kneeing him in the groin. Blaine cried out in pain and sunk to the ground immediately, holding his hands protectively over his family jewels. Kurt took one look at him curled up and ran.

Once he was safely in his car, he broke down. He pulled out his phone and dialed ‘the crab.’ When he answered, he only managed to say, “Sebastian, I need you,” before he was overwhelmed by crying.

On the other end, he heard Sebastian’s frantic inquiry, “Kurt! Kurt! Where are you? I’m on my way. Take a deep breath. In, out. In and out.” Kurt tried to follow the directions and ended up coughing instead, but Sebastian kept on talking to him, and he was finally able to catch his breath.

Sebastian repeated his question, “So, Kurt, where are you?”

“Parking lot.” He hiccupped. “At McKinley.”

“Okay, Kurt. It’ll be a while until I can get there. I just left the Warbler rehearsal. Is there anyone else you want to call?”

“No. Bas, I’m scared…”

“What happened?”

“Blaine… he…” Kurt sniffled.

“What did he do?” Sebastian demanded.

“I… I have to… lock the door. Before he gets up again. I have to keep him out.”

“Okay, Kurt, so go ahead: lock the door. Make sure that you lock all the doors, okay? You’re in your car, right? Are you sure you’re safe in there?”

“I can’t drive. Not like this.”

“Call someone closer to you, Kurt.”

“No! I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“No one else can see me! Not like this!”

“Now, Kurt, I want you to listen to me. Stop panicking. If you’re not safe, then you have to either get out of danger or call someone who can actually help you. Now, turn on your car and drive at least a block or two. Get out of there.”

Kurt obeyed mechanically, turning the key in the ignition. He tried to see through his tears, wiping at them furiously, only to have more replace them. He hiccupped again. “Bas, please, sing for me?”

“What would you like me to sing?”

“Anything. Something slow. Soothing.”

“Is ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ by Simon and Garfunkel okay for you?”

Kurt sniffled. “Yeah, just, please….”

Kurt heard Sebastian breath in softly and start singing,

_“When you’re weary_   
_Feeling small_   
_When the tears are in your eyes_   
_I will dry them all_

_I’m on your side_   
_When times get rough_   
_And friends just can’t be found_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will lay me down_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will lay me down.”_

Kurt felt his frantic heartbeat start to recede. He breathed deeply and dipped down the gas pedal.

_“When you’re down and out_   
_When you’re on the street_   
_When evening falls so hard_   
_I will comfort you”_

Kurt saw Blaine running out of the school building and stepped on the gas. He drove in the direction of Dalton, his heart beating stronger until he focused again on Sebastian singing,

_“I’ll take your part_   
_When darkness comes_   
_And pain is all around_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will lay me down_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will lay me down._

_“Sail on Silver Girl,_   
_Sail on by_   
_Your time has come to shine_   
_All your dreams are on their way”_

Kurt kept on driving, refusing to let himself look back, and found it continuously easier to breathe and focus on the road.

_“See how they shine_   
_If you need a friend_   
_I’m sailing right behind_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will ease your mind_   
_Like a bridge over troubled water_   
_I will ease your mind.”_

Kurt whispered, “Thank you, Bas. I’ll meet you half-way, okay?”

“At the rest-stop along the way?”

“But that’s closer to me.”

“Yeah and you’re the one who said that he didn’t want to drive right now.”

“Will you stay on the phone until then?”

“I have a handless device, so sure.”

“Oh, right, I should hang up then. I don’t have one.”

“And I thought I was the one who liked bending the rules.”

“Hey! It’s not like I’m thinking all that clearly right now!”

“Yeah, yeah; excuses, excuses.”

“You know, sometimes I really hate you.”

“I know, you love me.”

“That is not what I said!”

“But I’m able to read between the lines. Don’t worry.”

“You are such a dorkish meerkat. Why did I call I even call you?”

“I’ve been wondering that myself.”

“I’m hanging up on you now.”

“I’ll see you at the rest-stop.”

“Yeah. See you.” Kurt hung up the phone. He chanced a look backwards and was glad that he didn’t see Blaine’s car behind him. Hopefully, Blaine would think that he was driving home or to the garage. He wouldn’t think about Kurt going to Dalton. After all, why should he? As far as Blaine was concerned, Kurt didn’t have much contact with the others at Dalton. How could he when he’d been following Blaine along like a lost puppy?

He took another deep breath and concentrated on the road. He didn’t want to think about Blaine. He didn’t want to think about anything other than driving.

***

As predicted, Kurt arrived first at the rest-stop. He knew it well, having occasionally stopped there to go to the bathroom when travelling back and forth between home and Dalton. It was fairly simple – a little hut for the toilets, a picnic table with benches and a grill. Even though there were a few signs that pointed it out, it wasn’t glaringly obvious, with the trees that were planted between it and the highway. Kurt figured it was a way to give the people there at least a semblance of privacy.

Kurt got out of his car and looked at the benches. They were covered with moss and looked wet. They were probably slimy too – maybe even rotting. He wouldn’t besmirch his clothes on there. This was a bad idea. They shouldn’t have met here. They should have met somewhere cleaner, where there were more people. However, the thought of talking about what had just happened around strangers made his stomach churn. The thought of telling anyone about it at all… a shudder ran through his body.

He knew he had to tell someone, though. This could easily get ugly. It already was ugly. He knew that he couldn’t keep things like this a secret. He’d learned that from the whole thing with Karofsky… but that didn’t mean he had to tell his father. The man had enough on his plate as was, what with running for congress. Kurt didn’t want to add to that.

***

The moment Sebastian’s car drove in and haphazardly parked, Kurt got up and walked over to stand awkwardly next to Sebastian’s car until he got out.

Sebastian got out and asked, “Are you alright?”

Kurt shook his head, as tears spilled from his eyes again. A distant part of him was surprised that he actually still had tears. He advanced on Sebastian and kissed him. “Please, Bas, make it go away. Make him go away.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Who?”

“Blaine. I broke up with him. He kissed me. He just… he wouldn’t let me go. I tried so hard to get free. And it turned him on. Oh, God, it turned him on. I could feel it.” Kurt ran to the grass near the trees, where he sank to his knees on the wet gravel and threw up. He felt a comforting hand running soothing circles on his back. “It was pressing against my leg. I was so scared. I was just so scared. And he was sober. He was freaking sober! He hurt me when he was sober! How could he do that? I thought he loves me! How can you hurt someone you love?” Kurt’s stomach heaved again, but there wasn’t anything left to throw up.

Sebastian asked, “How did you get free?”

“I kneed him in the groin, right in his erection.”

“How did that feel?”

“Terrible. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I was just so afraid. I had to get out. I just had to. I was so scared. He was hurting me. And he would have done more. I’m sure he would have. I can’t do this again, Bas. I can’t live in terror. Last time… I can’t go there anymore. Please.”

“Wait, hold on, last time? This has happened before?”

“Not Blaine. Dave. Dave Karofsky. He kissed me and threatened to kill me if I told. He was scared, though. I could understand. But Blaine…I don’t understand…why…?” Kurt looked up at Sebastian with beseeching eyes.

Sebastian just shook his head. “Some people are sick, Princess.”

Kurt begged, “Please, kiss me, touch me – erase him from me.”

“I’ll get you some water first. Wait a moment.”

 

Kurt watched as Sebastian went over to the drinks vending machine at the rest-stop and came back with a bottle of Fuji water. He handed it to Kurt. “Here. Wash your mouth out and drink some. Get rid of at least some of the taste of bile that way, okay?”

Kurt nodded as he accepted the water bottle. He rinsed and drank from it. Already he felt slightly better. He looked up at Sebastian. “Please, kiss me. Make him disappear.”

Sebastian sat down next to him. “I can’t do that, Kurt. I can’t undo what he’s done.”

“Replace it then! I don’t want to feel him anymore!”

“If I do that now, then I’m no better than he is!”

“I’m asking you! Please!”

“You’re vulnerable right now. You don’t…”

Kurt interrupted him with a forceful kiss. After a few moments, Sebastian kissed back. Kurt felt the wet tears slipping down his face. When his neck started to hurt from the slightly awkward angle, Kurt moved over to straddle Sebastian’s lap. He slung his arms over the other teenager’s shoulders to help keep his balance. Sebastian’s arms snaked around his waist and, for a perfect moment, Kurt felt safe – secure. The desperate kiss slowed into something languid as Kurt relaxed.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Kurt broke the kiss and just rested his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. He whispered, “Thank you.”

Sebastian’s voice was a little strained as he answered, “Anytime.”


	6. Finding Freedom in Twos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

### Chapter Six

  
Kurt didn’t tell anyone else what had happened with Blaine, but he officially changed his status on Facebook. Most of his friends asked him what had happened, but he only gave them vague answers. The most common one was that Blaine wasn’t who he’d thought he was.

The only three people who really knew anything were Rachel, Santana and Brittany. They helped run interference for him, like taking all the seats around him so Blaine couldn’t sit next to him, engaging him in conversation whenever he was approaching, thus giving Kurt time to escape; things like that. Kurt was really grateful to them. He didn’t know if he could handle Blaine talking to him. He found it wasn’t quite as bad as with Karofsky – not with his friends helping him.

He’d been wearing wrist warmers to hide the bruises Blaine had caused on his wrists. Luckily, the ones on his back he could just chalk up to a locker slam, if he wanted. It didn’t happen quite as often as it used to, what with Karofsky having left the school, but it still happened often enough.

Rachel withdrew her candidacy for Senior Class President, healing the remaining gap between her and Kurt. Kurt, meanwhile, focused on his studies, his position in the Cheerios and New Directions.

Time passed quickly. Before Kurt knew it, the bruises had healed. He had lost the campaign, but his father won. He knew he should tell his father about what happened with Blaine then but, with Sectionals right around the corner, he didn’t dare. After all, the New Directions needed him.

Sebastian texted Kurt to tell him that the Warblers had won and he would be going to Scandals that weekend to celebrate it. He also asked Kurt if he’d join him, which Kurt quickly agreed to.

Soon after, he found himself going out more and more often with Sebastian. It felt easy, comfortable with him. They never failed to quibble with each other but, if Kurt was honest with himself, that was one of the things he liked the most about their relationship. He didn’t have to play a role. He could be his true self – sass and all.

Whenever any of Kurt’s friends were around them, they’d give them strange looks. It was almost as if they expected something to happen between the two of them. Just because they were constantly flirting with each other didn’t mean anything. It was just for fun. Sebastian didn’t do feelings or relationships and Kurt wouldn’t let himself fall into one with him, either.

Blaine had seemingly given up on him and was leaving him alone, so Kurt was less and less careful about avoiding him. One day, he asked Sebastian to come after school. Kurt knew that the last few lessons of the day were canceled, so he’d be there fairly soon after school was out. They’d agreed to meet in the auditorium.

***

When Kurt entered the auditorium, Blaine was already there. Kurt said, “I reserved the auditorium today.”

Blaine answered cooly, “I know. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Can you blame me?”

“You aren’t allowed to avoid me. I’m your boyfriend.”

“Blaine, I broke up with you!”

“You were misguided. I bet that bitch Santana put you up to it, didn’t she?”

“You practically forced yourself on me!”

“You belong to me! I didn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want!”

“You’re delusional!”

“Give me your cell phone.”

“No.” Kurt automatically put his hand over it as he inched his other shaky hand towards the door handle.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Kurt. You should obey, like a good sub.” Blaine advanced and pushed Kurt’s hand to the side as he plucked Kurt’s phone out of his pants. He tossed it to the side. “You won’t be needing that now.”

“Leave me alone!”

“Not after how much I’ve worked to be alone with you. I’ll show you how much I love you still. You know you still love me, no matter how much you try to pretend you don’t. It’s time to stop lying to yourself.”

“I know ninjutsu.”

“I was the leader of the Dalton Fight Club. That doesn’t scare me. Besides, it’s not like you can do much in your tight pants.”

“I told you it’s over! Why can’t you accept that?”

Blaine narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t broken up with me. Cause,

_“That’ll be the day, when you say goodbye_   
_That’ll be the day, when you make me cry_   
_You say you gonna leave, you know it’s a lie_   
_‘Cause that’ll be the day when I die.”_

Kurt answered,   
_“Fly by frankie thinks he’s superman_  
 _Like a child at the wheel of a rocket_  
 _He comes round here with a license to love_  
 _But I don’t know where he got it_  
 _I trusted you offered everything_  
 _But I’m not sure you deserve it_

_“You tell me that I’m lucky_   
_But I feel like giving up_   
_‘Cause a heart like mine’s wasted on you_   
_If you don’t know what you’ve got.”_

Blaine continued,  
 _“Well, you give me all your lovin’ and your turtle dovin’_  
 _All your hugs and kisses and your money too_  
 _Well, you know you love me baby_  
 _Until you tell me, maybe_  
 _That some day, well I’ll be through_

_“Well that’ll be the day when you say goodbye_   
_Yes, that’ll be the day when you make me cry_   
_You say you’re gonna leave, you know it’s a lie_   
_‘Cause that’ll be the day when I die”_

Kurt sang at the same time as Blaine sang his chorus,  
 _“You throw it away_  
 _Throw it away_  
 _All the heart and the soul I’ve been giving_  
 _You throw it away_  
 _Throw it away_  
 _Like it’s no big deal you’ll be missin’_  
 _You throw it away_  
 _Throw it away_  
 _Run it underground._

_“Fly by frankie’s got it in his head_   
_That he’s something I know that he’s not_   
_He’s like a blind bull in a china shop_   
_When it comes to affairs of the heart_

_“You wouldn’t know what love is_   
_If it hit you like a rock_   
_And a boy like me is lost on you_   
_If you don’t know what you’ve got.”_

They simultaneously sang their two choruses again and continued singing at the same time, circling each other. Blaine sang,  
 _“Well, when Cupid shot his dart_  
 _He shot it at your heart_  
 _So if we ever part and I leave you_  
 _You sit and hold and you tell me boldly_  
 _That some day, well I’ll be blue”_

Kurt sang,  
 _“Every breath in the park_  
 _Every dance in the dark_  
 _Every promise you make_  
 _You go and throw it away_  
 _Every smile in the rain_  
 _You know it’s always the same_  
 _You go and do it again_  
 _You go and throw it away.”_

Blaine paused and Kurt continued,  
 _“You wouldn’t know what love is_  
 _If it hit you like a rock_  
 _And a boy like me is lost on you_  
 _If you don’t know what you’ve got.”_

They sang their individual choruses together again, ending with Blaine singing, _“That’ll be the day when I die,”_ and Kurt singing, _“Throw it away, Run it underground.”_

Blaine smirked at Kurt. “You aren’t convincing anyone, Kurt.” He grabbed him and kissed him.

Kurt’s eyes flew open wide. In that moment Sebastian came in from behind Blaine and Kurt pushed Blaine away from himself. He yelled, “Leave me alone, Blaine! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!”

_“You say you’re gonna leave, you know it’s a lie.”_

“Shut up!” Kurt slapped Blaine on the face.

Sebastian grabbed Blaine’s arms. “The lady has spoken. Now get out. He actually _doesn’t_ want to see your face anymore. He knows everything, you see. How you cheated on him, how you aren’t a virgin. Everything. It’s not like he’s missing all that much, anyways. You give a rotten blow job and I’ve heard you’re terrible at anything other than bottoming. He can do better.”

Blaine demanded, “Are you two friends now?”

Sebastian smirked. “Or something like that.”

“Kurt would never…”

“How well do you really know your ex?” Sebastian changed his grip to hold Blaine’s arms in front of him. He went over to kiss Kurt right in front of Blaine. Kurt unwillingly let out a moan during the kiss, as Sebastian completely dominated it. He brought a hand up to the nape of Sebastian’s neck, trying to press him in closer.

Blaine struggled more and Sebastian had to break the kiss to focus on holding him. He yelled, “I’ll kill you, Sebastian! I’ll kill you for touching what’s mine!”

“Oh, really? Would you care to say that again?”

“I’ll kill you! I swear! Just let me go!”

“You’re going to kill me, are you? And just what happens when you go to jail for it? Then you won’t be able to watch over Kurt. He’ll be able to do anything he wants with anyone.”

“Then I’ll kill him, too! No one can touch him other than me!”

“You’re clinically insane; you know that?”

“He’s mine!”

“He belongs to nobody.”

Kurt cut in, “He is here and he has a name.”

Sebastian ignored him. “Get out of here, Blaine, before we call the police.”

“You don’t have any proof!”

“It’s two against one. And my father is the state attorney.” Sebastian opened the door with his foot and flung Blaine outside, where he fell to the ground. As quickly as he could, Sebastian closed the door and locked it from the inside.

Sebastian pulled out his phone and fiddled with it. Kurt heard Blaine yelling obscenities and pounding on the door from the other side.

A few moments Sebastian put it back in his pocket. “When I heard you guys outside, I knew something was going on. So I started recording on my phone before I entered. I just sent the recording to my father. He’ll make sure that the two of us at the very least get a restraining order on Blaine.”

“Thank you.”

“No need. I’m just doing what’s right.”

“You know, he’s going to think we’re in love now.”

“People think that anyways, what with the way your friends look at us.”

Kurt sang, _“Why do they think up stories that link my name with yours?”_   
Sebastian answered, _“Why do the neighbors chatter all day, behind their doors?”_   
_“I know a way to prove what they say is quite untrue._  
 _Here is the gist, a practical list of ‘don’ts’ for you._

 _Don’t throw bouquets at me_  
 _Don’t please my folks too much_  
 _Don’t laugh at my jokes too much”_  
Sebastian inserted, “Who laughs at your jokes?”   
_“People will say we’re in love!_

_Don’t sigh and gaze at me_   
_Your sighs are so like mine_   
_Your eyes mustn’t glow like mine_   
_People will say we’re in love._

_Don’t start collecting things.”_  
“Like what?”   
_“Give me my rose and my glove._  
 _Sweetheart they’re suspecting things_  
 _People will say we’re in love.”_

Sebastian continued, “ _Some people claim that you are to blame as much as I_   
_Why do y’ take the trouble to bake my favorite pie?_  
 _Grantin’ your wish, I carved our initials on that tree._  
 _Just keep a slice of all the advice you give so free._

_Don’t praise my charm too much_   
_Don’t look so vain with me_   
_Don’t stand in the rain with me_   
_People will say we’re in love!_

_Don’t take my arm too much_   
_Don’t keep your hand in mine_   
_Your hand feels so grand in mine_   
_People will say we’re in love!_

_Don’t dance all night with me_   
_Till the stars fade from above_   
_They’ll see it’s alright with me_   
_People will say we’re in love.”_

Kurt asked, “Are you just singing that, or do you really mean it?”

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow. “What do you think?”

Kurt replied, “I don’t know.” He unconsciously grabbed Sebastian’s hands in his own and gazed into his green eyes.

“Did you know that I haven’t gotten any since that awful blowjob from Blaine?”

Kurt shook his head ‘no.’ “Why?”

“Because, I’ve been spending so much time with you, silly. When would I have had a chance to?”

Kurt blinked.

“And you know what the worst thing is?”

Kurt shook his head.

Sebastian let out a chocked laugh. “I don’t even really miss it all that much. I’d miss the time with you so much more.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I’m an awful person. You know that, I know it. I’m sarcastic, blunt and honest. You could do much better.”

Kurt shook his head. _“When I was a kid,_   
_I played on the street,_  
 _I always loved illusion._  
 _I thought make-believe_  
 _Was truer than life_  
 _But now it’s all confusion_  
 _Please can you tell me what’s happening?_  
 _I just don’t know anymore._  
 _If this is real,_  
 _How should I feel?_  
 _What should I look for?”_

Sebastian answered, _“If you were smart,_   
_You would keep on walking_  
 _Out of my life_  
 _As fast as you can._  
 _I’m not the one_  
 _You should pin your hopes on,_  
 _You’re falling for_  
 _The wrong kind of man._

_“This is crazy._   
_You know we should call it a day._   
_Sound advice, great advice,_   
_Let’s throw it away._   
_I can’t control_   
_All the things I’m feeling,_   
_I haven’t got a prayer_   
_If I’m a fool, well, I’m too much in love to care_

_“I knew where I was,_   
_I’d given up hope,_   
_Made friends with disillusion._   
_No one in my life,_   
_But I look at you_   
_And now it’s all confusion.”_

Kurt sang, _“Please can you tell me what’s happening?_   
_I just don’t know anymore._  
 _If this is real,_  
 _How should I feel?_  
 _What should I look for?_

_“I thought I had_   
_Everything I needed._   
_My life was set,_   
_My dreams were in place._   
_My heart could see_   
_Way into the future._   
_All of that goes_   
_When I see your face._   
_I should hate you,_   
_There I was, the world in my hand_   
_Can one kiss kiss away_   
_Everything I planned?_   
_I can’t control_   
_All the things I’m feeling,_   
_I’m floating in mid-air._   
_I know it’s wrong, but I’m too much in love to care.”_

Sebastian joined Kurt, _“I thought I had_   
_Everything I needed_  
 _My life was set,_  
 _My dreams were in place_  
 _My heart could see_  
 _Way into the future._  
 _All of that goes_  
 _When I see your face._

 _“This is crazy._  
 _You know we should call it a day.”_  
Sebastian sang alone, _“Sound advice,”_   
Kurt sang alone, _“Great advice,”_   
They sang together again, _“Let’s throw it away._   
_I can’t control_  
 _All the things I’m feeling._  
 _We’re floating in mid-air._  
 _If we are fools, well, we’re too much in love to care._  
 _If we are fools, well, we’re too much in love to care.”_

The two of them leaned in for a heated kiss.

After a few moments, Sebastian drew away. “Kurt, when we got to talking at Scandals, I warned you that I could fall in love with you. I tried not to. God, I tried not to. But I couldn’t not be with you and, every time you called, I came willingly. Now, seeing Blaine kiss you made me so jealous, but you pushed him away and that made me feel satisfied. At that moment, I realized that I care for you. More than I want to.”

Kurt snorted, “You have really bad timing, Bas. I really like you, but you’ve seen what my life is like right with Blaine and everything. I wouldn’t want to pull you into that.”

“I’m already in it, like it or not. It’s too late for me to pull out.”

“I can’t promise to sleep with you any time soon.”

“I can handle it. And, if it gets to be too much for me, I’ll tell you. I won’t go behind your back, like Blaine did. I can’t promise that I won’t ever mess around with another guy while I’m with you, even if I haven’t been sleeping around lately, but I do promise to tell you first. Okay?”

Kurt hesitated. “You won’t hurt me?”

“I can’t promise that either. All I can promise is not to physically hurt you without permission.”

Kurt choked. “Permission?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Some people like pain when they’re intimate.”

Kurt wrinkled his nose. “No, thank you. Just… ewww!” He pressed his fists to his temples. “Eww! Eww! Eww!”

Sebastian laughed. “You’d be surprised how many kinks there are out there. Like sucking on feet, touching or seeing someone who’s lost a limb…”

“Stop it! I don’t want to hear! Do you want me to throw up?”

“Just because they aren’t your kinks doesn’t mean that there aren’t enough people who have them. Some people like it when their partner takes control.”

“I hated it when Blaine took control, but I like it when you do. What does that make me?”

“Human. It takes a lot of trust for that: something you didn’t have an abundance of with Blaine.”

“I trust you.”

“I don’t have a clue why, though.”

“I’ll be leaving for New York for the next school year. What will you do then?”

“Presuming my parents want me to stay at Dalton, I guess we’ll have to come to a decision then. Either we stay strictly exclusive, which would be hard on both of us, or we have an open relationship. That means that, as long as we inform the other person and always use protection, we can sleep around. Either way, I’ll try and visit you as often as I can. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, though.”

“Can an open relationship really work?”

“If you’re honest and upfront – it can. Either person can get out of it, if it becomes to be too much, knowing your partner is screwing other people. It’s better than cheating, though and, let’s face it: most gay relationships end up either in open relationships or cheating. I’d much prefer the first one. I promise I’ll listen to you, if you tell me not that day or night. You can veto me on it.”

“Well, I guess. As long as you swear to always use protection and to never bring someone to a bed that we share and never do it in front of me.”

“I promise. And, in return, don’t ever do it in front of me, either. I don’t think I’d be able to let anyone else kiss you, if I was there. I’m too possessive.”

There was a pregnant silence in which they noticed that the pounding on the door had ceased. Instead, they heard chocked sobs from outside.

Sebastian sunk to a knee and asked, “Kurt, would you be my boyfriend, to love and to cherish and to uphold the rules we agreed on?”

Kurt giggled. “I will, dork. Will you?”

“Knowing what I’ll get out of it? You bet!” Sebastian smirked and drew Kurt in for another toe-curling kiss. “So, how do you want your first time to be like?”

Kurt laughed, “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”

“Nope. I’ve got to start planning, so it’ll be ready for when we get that far.”

“I want it to be in a field of lavender.”

Sebastian smirked, “Seems like I have two tickets to buy to Aix En Provence in France then.”

Kurt’s eyes grew wide. “I don’t have a passport, though! And I refuse to have sex with you in public, where anyone can see us!”

“I’ll just have to improvise then. And you’re right: it’s too cold there right now.”

Kurt laughed and swatted Sebastian. “You’re such a dork.”

“But you love me anyway,” Sebastian sing-songed.

“Sometimes I really wonder,” Kurt teased.


	7. Finding Freedom in Twos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Aftermath of "The First Time" Sebastian takes care of Kurt with the help of Brittany and Santana. They decide to help Kurt along with deciding to break up with Blaine. At the same time Sebastian tries to show Kurt that he is desirable.

### Epilogue

Blaine was given a restraining order, which he ignored. Subsequently, he was sent to a specialized school for kids and teenagers with mental disorders. His parents relocated the family to make the chance of Blaine having a fallback less likely.

***

About a month into their relationship, Kurt told Sebastian than he was ready to take that final step. Sebastian got rid of his parents for the night and Kurt came over.

***

When he stepped into Sebastian’s room, he started laughing and stepped very carefully to avoid all the potted lavender plants. Arriving at the bed, he kissed his boyfriend before saying, “You’re a dork, you know?”

“A dork, huh?” Sebastian asked as he slowly unbuttoned Kurt’s shirt.

“Yeah, a dork… but I love you anyway. Thank you.”

“I told you I’d improvise.”

“That you did.”

“More kissing and less talking, please.” Sebastian insisted.

Kurt had very few issues with following that order.

***

As Kurt woke up the next morning, feeling pleasantly sore, he couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t know if he and Sebastian would last forever but, in the meantime, he’d enjoy it for everything it was worth.

What mattered most to Kurt was that he was loved and cherished for being himself. Both he and Sebastian were still free – despite being together. And that was a wonderful feeling. He just wished that he hadn’t been blind to the truth for so long, because freedom was wonderful.  



End file.
